Seasonal Islam

A large number of Muslims in Pakistan are fasting in the holy month of Ramzan with religious zeal and fervour. The other 160 million risk going to jail. Some of them fast several times a day.

The people of the Islamic republic exhibit exemplary patience in this month, this scribe has learned, except the few who are invited to free Iftaris.

Religious and political leaders have stressed the need for 30 days of restraint and peace, after which the nation will celebrate 326 days of gluttony and greed.

“By being hungry, we get to know how other people feel when they are hungry,” a cleric said while packing his Samosas in a copy of Ehtram-e-Ramzan Ordinance.

Following in the footsteps of top journalist Sohail Warraich, this scribe attended free Iftaris hosted by various leaders and asked them what message they would give to the people of Pakistan in the holy month.

Fareed Paratha:

The Jamaat-e-Islami leader believes Islam is a complete way of life which came with a diet plan that would stop him from becoming even more fat. Analysts believe the renowned scholar would get into shape, but some fear that shape will be round.

Reaction from supporters: “We will put the ‘slim’ back in ‘Muslim’,” members of his party told this scribe. They said they had made groups of young men who would go out in the city and wake people up twice every day for the Sehr and Iftar meals.

Lahsan Iqbal:

The veteran politician from PML(N) said Ramzan is a month in which we should reflect on the sins, excesses and mistakes, that have been made by the ruling PPP.

He also divulged the effect of fasting on foreign policy. “This will indicate to the US that Pakistanis can happily starve and don’t need foreign help.”

Reaction from supporters: Members of his party believe Punjab chief minister Shahbaz Sharif had shelved USAID programmes for provision of clean drinking water in Punjab’s villages in preparation for Ramzan.

Pervaiz Malai:

The PML(Q) top leader who was once a contender for prime minister announced his support for Indian activist Anna Hazare who is fasting to bring attention to the problem of corruption in India. Calling for interfaith harmony and better ties with India, he said, “All religions of the world teach their followers to strive, with the goal of being in power one day.”

Reaction from supporters: This scribe tried to contact Pervaiz Malai’s supporters but all five of them were not available for comment.

Khajoor Wassan:

The Sindh home minister urged the need for peace and urged various groups in Karachi to stop fighting. “The only thing we should fight in these days is logic,” he said.

Reaction from supporters: This scribe interviewed activists backed by the PPP but could not hear them properly because of their loud gunfire.

Imran Khan:

The rebel PTI leader has mysteriously disappeared since the beginning of Ramzan.

Postscript: Talking to this scribe, renowned cleric Aamir Hamaqat warned against using filthy language in the holy month. “Those who say bad words and those who hear them both commit a sin,” he said. Upon hearing that, this scribe stopped interviewing him and left without reminding him that the name of that actor is Prem Nath.

The witer is a media and culture critic. Poke him at http://youbecome.me