CITY NOTES: Only losers resign because of protests

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Bolivian President Evo Morales proved that he is an idiot, a lamebrain and a loser. Imagine, he resigned just because there were protests against him. Just look at our own Imran Khan. Maulana Fazlur Rehman led an Azadi March against him to Islamabad, but catch our Imran resigning. Morales had to resign because of election irregularities last month. And Fazl said that he was demanding electoral reforms which would stop any government from being selected but our Imran is not so weak minded as to cave in.

If Morales had followed Imran’s example, nothing would have happened. After all, Fazl had to back down, and switch to Plan B. And look at Saad Hariri, who was too weak to be PM, because he resigned as the prime minister of Lebanon after protests there over the economic situation. Look, can you think of any government of Pakistan which would have survived a look at the economy? During the recent protests too, the economy was an issue. Did Imran resign? He did not even show a sign.

Another Arab country Imran did not learn from was Iraq. The government there has not been able to face down protests there even though 319 people have been killed by law enforcing agencies since the protests began last month. I wonder whether Fazl approves. I wonder whether he could concentrate, because though the negotiator was changed from Pervez Khattak to Chaudhry Shujat Hussain. Fazl spent all the time waiting for him to say, “Maulana, aao, roti shoti khao”, but apparently he did not. So he left Islamabad in dudgeon. And all of those workers left hurriedly in search of a john.

I suppose Imran too was not paying attention. After all, he was busy inaugurating the Kartarpur Corridor, which was rewarded by the Babri Mosque decision. Was the Indian Supreme Court (SC) replying to the Kartarpur decision, or was it supporting Modi’s decision to end Kashmir’s special status?

Anyway, the Kartarpur inauguration took place on Iqbal Day and that was succeeded this year by Eid Miladun Nabi. And the day after that was Armistice Day. We do not mark it, but it does mean the end of World War I. True, I doubt if any veterans are still there. Indeed, World War II veterans would be few and far between. And while vets of the 1948 war are still alive, none of the 1965 or 1971 veterans are still in service.

Eid Miladun Nabi fell on a Sunday, depriving the little ones of a holiday. The government also resisted the temptation of having Monday off, and converting the weekend into a long one. The kiddies had to rely on the smog for the holiday. In fact, it happened again, and the government ordered the Saturday off too. The government blames the East Punjab farmers burning the stubble in their fields. No one is blaming our farmers. And those who blame diesel-burning vehicles are merely supporters of China, which has been propagating the idea of global warming as a conspiracy to stop America being great again.

Supporters of China have also prevailed in Australia, where a second round of bush fires are the result of a drought. These fires succeed the forest fires in California. Now that is definitely a conspiracy, just like the school shooting there, which is a conspiracy to make the gun-rights’ advocates look bad.

Maybe we will not have as many conspiracies in Spain now, where the anti-immigrant Vox party has done so well. Here, we have a conspiracy against Imran Khan, shown in Nawaz Sharif getting to go abroad on the excuse of illness. The government tried to get him to sign a bond to get his name off the Exit Control List (ECL), but the real event of which Pakistan Tehreek-e-Insaf (PTI) supporters have been deprived is Imran Khan suddenly turning up at Kot Lakhpat Jail, going straight to Mian Nawaz’s cell, flinging him to the ground, and kicking him. Or at least getting some money out of him.

That’s what Saudi Crown Prince Muhammad bin Salman did remember, when he detained a number of Saudi royals, ministers, businessmen and clerics back in October 2017, and put them up at a hotel in Riyadh, refusing to let them go until they paid a lot of money. Who says Imran does not learn from Arabs? And remember, those arrested in Saudi Arabia were arrested for corruption. I wonder how come Imran did not stage a sit-in in front of the hotel where the corrupt elements were being kept.