(Disclaimer: this is a work of fiction. Learn to take a joke; you’ll live longer.)
SRINAGAR – In his first exclusive interview since a group of European Union lawmakers undertook the first visit by a foreign delegation to Jammu & Kashmir, following New Delhi revoking its autonomy in August, Prime Minister Narendra Modi maintained that Kashmir still is the ‘internal matter’ of India.
Talking to The Dependent, Modi said those who believe that the visit of an EU delegation compromises New Delhi’s position, are completely missing the point.
“I would suggest those jumping to conclusion to spare some time and go through the list of the EU delegates that visited Kashmir. They range from Nazi sympathisers to torchbearers of fascism. And what binds many of them is the fact that they are proudly anti-Muslim – like us,” the Indian premier said pointing to himself during the video interview.
“Therefore, if people like us go and visit an area that we have under our complete control, they will like what they see, and they will say what we want them to say. Hence, Kashmir remains well and truly the internal matter of India,” he added, still pointing towards himself.
Further emphasising his point, Modi said that some of the EU lawmakers had more in common with him than members of his own Bharatiya Janata Party (BJP).
“It was almost as if numerous Yogi Adityanath jees and Sadhya Pragya Thakur jees were visiting Kashmir to report on the situation there. What could be more internal than that?”