(Disclaimer: this is a work of fiction. Learn to take a joke; you’ll live longer.)
NEW YORK – In case his message was still unclear despite recent joint press conferences and rallies, US President Donald Trump has reminded both Indian and Pakistan Americans that he absolutely loves their prime ministers and that they should vote for him in the 2020 US Presidential Elections.
Choosing The Dependent as his publication of choice to spread the message among the target audience, Trump said that nobody has ever loved Indians and Pakistanis more than him.
“Dear Indian Americans, I am a big fan of your awesome Prime Minister Narendra Modi. You vote for me okay?” the US President said.
“Dear Pakistani Americans, I am a big fan of your awesome Prime Minister Imran Khan. You vote for me okay?” the US President added.
When asked by this scribe that his stance on India and Pakistan was unclear and that he should elaborate his position on Kashmir, Trump said, “Dear Kashmir Americans, in case you become an independent state before November 2020, know that I am a big fan of your awesome Prime Minister. You vote for me okay?” Trump maintained.
When asked whom did he like more Narendra Modi or Imran Khan, Trump said, “Where do you find reporters like these!”