(Disclaimer: this is a work of fiction. Learn to take a joke; you’ll live longer.)
A company owned by retired Air Marshall and alleged political analyst Shahid Latif has won another contract awarded by the Civil Aviation Authority, this time for the mandatory wrapping of passengers in plastic before their flights.
“Since he has the contract for the luggage as well, his company had a competitive advantage over all others, including my cousin Shakoor, for this contract,” said Faiz Hassan, Director Procurement, over at the CAA.
“There was merit observed in the bidding process,” he added. “Well, at least till as far as my cousin Shakoor is concerned, who didn’t, let me repeat myself, get the contract.”
The specification given by the CAA was clear in that they wanted the passengers to be wrapped up roll-paratha style, meaning that at least one end of the passengers (preferably from where they breathe) should be left open.
“The awarding of such contracts, completely on merit, is a very positive step,” said Air Marshall (retd) Shahid Latif, speaking on television, Sunday night.