(Disclaimer: this is a work of fiction. Learn to take a joke; you’ll live longer.)
BRISTOL – Following the side’s defeat in the third ODI at Bristol, which gave England an unassailable 2-0 lead in the ongoing five match series, Pakistan bowlers queued up to call Mohammed Amir, inquiring where he got his chickenpox from.
First Hasan Ali, then Shaheen Afridi, then Faheem Ashraf, followed by Junaid Khan and Imad Wasim, every member of the Pakistani bowling lineup called Amir who missed the second and third ODIs due to chickenpox.
“Was it that shawarma stall in East London, where we had dinner that night? I can make a quick drive and come back in time to miss the next match,” said Hasan Ali during his phone call with Amir.
“Chickenpox is the perfect viral infection at this time, because it will ensure that one won’t have to play the last two matches against England, but won’t rule one out of the world cup,” said Imad Wasim during his call.
“If you hadn’t got chickenpox, they wouldn’t have played me in the third ODI in Bristol. You owe me an infection,” maintained Junaid Khan, during a heated discussion with Amir.
At press time, Amir informed the team management that he won’t be fit for the England matches, but would be raring to go in the World Cup.