(Disclaimer: this is a work of fiction. Learn to take a joke; you’ll live longer.)
ISLAMABAD – Former Pakistan captain Ramiz Raja has about as much understanding of politics as he has of cricket, leading experts concluded after a two-day summit on Tuesday. The conference, held at a local hotel in the capital, featured politico-cricket experts, and was designed to dissect the influence of former cricketers on Pakistani politics.
The summit entitled ‘Former Cricketers and Their Political Knowhow’ discussed a wide range of issues related to the politico-cricket field including multiple sessions featuring Ramiz Raja. The most frequent mention of the Pakistani commentator came in the session entitled, ‘How Former Elitist Cricketers Live in Their Own Delusional World’.
“It’s evident that Mr Ramiz Raja’s understanding of politics is almost as bad as his knowledge of cricket,” maintained Tullah Institute’s Bushra Ahmed, a renowned expert on politico-cricket in South Asia. Her motion was seconded by the highly esteemed panel gathered for the session.
Another popular session at the two-day summit was entitled, ‘Existential Threat to Pakistan Posed by Former Cricketers Owing to their Arrogant Ignorance’.
“As you can see believing that former cricketers can have any actual understanding of running a country, based on their experience of running a cricket team can eventually become a threat to a country’s economy and security,” said Imtiaz Bashir from Pak Institute of Political Cricketers (PIPC).
The two day summit further concluded that experience in dressing room politics, should not be mistaken for any sustainable understanding of the country’s political economy on part of the former cricketers.