(Disclaimer: this is a work of fiction. Learn to take a joke; you’ll live longer.)
Local man Sarwar Ahmed, who has for the past two week been on a crusade to try and register FIRs against the organisers of the aurat march in his city, said on Thursday that the Czech model given 8 years for trying to smuggle $1m worth of heroin should have been given a lighter sentence.
“I just think such sentences portray a harsh image of the country. What will people back in her native Czech republic say about this?” he asked, even as he was in a meeting with his lawyers about what the FIR against the aurat march organisers should be over exactly.
“We could have turned this around. Given her a twitter and sent her touring all over the country to portray a positive image of the country. Now that would have been some good press” said the man who was a week ago seen holding up placards for a ‘Mard march’ being held in opposition to the aurat march.
“I just think no one benefits from such justice. If there was such an issue, I was more than willing to sit down with the lady and talk to her about why exactly she did what she did. You know, hear her out and stuff.”
“In fact, I was even willing to exchange numbers and chat about what she did with her, even at late hours of the night” said the man who had in the past expressed the opinion that young boys smuggling drugs out of Afghanistan and Somalia should be hanged on spot upon being caught, without so much as a trial.
“If you don’t believe me, I can show you the letter I sent to the courts and the relevant authorities explaining how I was willing to negotiate with Ms Hluskova.”