(Disclaimer: this is a work of fiction. Learn to take a joke; you’ll live longer.)
KARACHI – Following his return from Pakistan, football legend Carles Puyol announced to the world that he felt that the rivalry between Maula Jatt and Noori Natt was bigger than the one between Cristiano Ronaldo and Lionel Messi.
Puyol’s statement comes in the aftermath of his visit to Karachi, where in addition to participating in the closing ceremony of the Pakistan Super League final, he hobnobbed with the star studded cast of the Legend of Maula Jatt.
“I know the Ronaldo-Messi rivalry defined much of the period I played football in, but it still doesn’t come close to how big the rivalry between Maula Jatt and Noori Natt is,” Puyol said in a press statement.
“For starters it’s larger than life because neither of the two characters actually ever existed. Also, neither Maula Jatt nor Noori Natt has an annoying af fan base that is constantly sh*ting on the other – there is clearly defined mutual respect between the two fictional characters and their fans.”
However, the former Spain and Barcelona star confessed that there are elements to the Ronaldo-Messi rivalry that is similar to the more illustrious Maula-Noori rivalry.
“Messi – the hero who I would obviously always pick over Ronaldo – is the Maula Jatt to Ronaldo’s villainous Noori Natt,” Puyol’s statement read. “But, again, it doesn’t come anywhere close to the real thing.”