(Disclaimer: this is a work of fiction. Learn to take a joke; you’ll live longer.)
Jati Umra – Mumbling indistinguishable words under his breath, leader of the opposition and PML-N President Shehbaz Sharif spent the weekend clearing out the top bunk in a Jaati Umra bedroom to prepare for the return of his elder brother Mian Nawaz Sharif.
According to details available with The Dependent, Mian Shehbaz was asked by his mother to clear out the top bunk of the bed that the two brothers share in their shared room for Mian Nawaz to move back in.
Before Mian Nawaz had gone to jail, the two brothers had been sharing the room and the elder Nawaz had insisted on keeping the top bunk for himself. But after he went to jail, Mian Shehbaz decided to move up the ladder.
“Of course I’m happy that he’s back” said a visibly irked Mian Shehbaz speaking to The Dependent.
“It’s just that this is typical behaviour is all.”
“I mean come on. Why do I have to be the one to always go on the bottom bunk? I’m the good kid” he said.
“And you know what, she’ll never admit it but mom always takes his side too. That’s just a fact. I could be the best kid there ever was but he’ll always be the ladla.”
“Besides, I think I’m old enough to have my own room, don’t you think so” he asked our correspondent.
“I mean I’m just saying, he comes and he goes. Sometimes he’s off to Islamabad to be PM or something and then other times he’ll just waltz in and tell us he’s going to Pindi and he’ll be back in a decade.”
“All I’m saying is that if anyone deserves to have the top bunk, it’s me. I just wish mom got that” he ended.