(Disclaimer: this is a work of fiction. Learn to take a joke; you’ll live longer.)
ISLAMABAD: All Pakistan Microwaves and Ovens Association (APMOA), while celebrating the prolonged load shedding in the country, told humans to heat up their food ‘as they did before the invention’.
Talking to a press conference on Thursday, microwaves chanted the slogan ‘khud khana garam kar lo’ since there was no electricity to power them. They hailed the government’s step to revive power outages so that the never ending conflict between creative feminists and male chauvinists could be defused.
”The truth is that neither women nor men heat up their food. We have been doing it for them since decades,” explained a microwave leader, adding that it was just a matter of point scoring.
When a reporter asked the APMOA leaders whether humans were creating a fuss out of nothing, one member responded, “Well, isn’t that what humans always do?”
The association also demanded of the government to issue a certificate of appreciation for the electronic appliance.
In addition, the respective unions of refrigerators, washing machines, dry cleaners, toasters, vacuum cleaners among others are set to stage protests during April against absurdity of all sorts. “We want reasonable arguments, that’s all,” said a spokesperson.
The electronic appliances claimed that the humans were becoming increasingly lazy to do anything, let alone thinking.
Reacting to the microwaves’ assertion, a person – whose name and gender shall remain undisclosed – wrote on Facebook, “We have never asked microwaves to get into lines to pay utility bills. Why are they revolting against us with such slogans?”