(Disclaimer: this is a work of fiction. Learn to take a joke; you’ll live longer.)
Facebook founder and CEO Mark Zuckerberg marked himself safe on Facebook in the aftermath of the Facebook private data scandal.
“Hello all. Just letting friends and family know that I am safe in the aftermath of the scandal and still incredibly rich and powerful,” he said in the post.
“Yes, I might have lost $ 9 billion in the aftermath of the crisis but I am still worth $ 62.2 billion and the loss of the nine billion is going to be a mere dip in the larger scheme of things,” he wrote.
“But of course, I know that money isn’t the most important thing in life. There’s also power. Luckily I am still in a position where I can almost single handedly vastly determine the outcome of many elections in the world.”
“And for that, I am truly and eternally grateful to everyone, specially myself,” he concluded.
Note to reader: By the filing of this report, it was confirmed that liking or reacting to this post on Facebook meant penalties. Proceed with caution.