President T, do you plan to grow up?

• Has the marriage of convenience between Pakistan and USA gone stale?

‘In America, anyone can become president. That’s the problem.’ remarked the legendary comedian late George Carlin; known for his scathing wit, piercing humor and ability to mock the failings and foibles of so-called high and mighty. Carlin, who died a decade back in 2008, is not around to witness first hand and ridicule the rise and ravagings of Mr T’s presidency and is desperately missed. The problem Carlin pointed out has become the real, orange-faced, straight-out-of-reality-TV predicament. Not only just United States of America but the entire world look gape mouthed at the shenanigans and silliness of Mr T.

This latest occupier of the White House, famous for not giving a tosh to history, must be oblivious of what happened in October, 1947, barely two months after gaining independence, when Pakistan sent a special emissary, Mr Laik Ali, to USA to secure two billion dollars in aid to ensure defence and economic development. If only he knew about this his tweet would’ve extended the 12 years to seven decades. And for the curious ones, Mr Ali returned empty-handed. Since then the relations have turned from bonhomie to sanctions, reverted back to brotherhood and hammering out of alliances. A roller-coaster ride serves as a perfect metaphor for Pak-US relationship.

The most recent falling out between twitter-happy Mr T and his Pakistani counterparts inauspiciously happened at the very first day of 2018. Allegations of double game by Mr T were countered by naming the sins on part of US of A by Pakistani gentlemen from civilian and military side (yes, both are on same page. Whose page this is, we don’t know). At the time of writing this column America has suspended security aid to Pakistan in its entirety and put it on a watch list for violations of religious freedom. Both countries have been to similar places before. Pak-US relations, as old as Pakistan itself, have braved betrayals (Read 65 and 71 war) and outlived bonhomie (Read Ayub’s initial tenure, Musharraf’s era and Afghan War) multiple times.

Once again, we lament that sacrifices of our soldiers and commoners haven’t been appreciated, acknowledged and applauded. US, on the other hand, blames that we’ve been in it to mint dollars and dollars alone while shielding, even actively abating ‘good Taliban’ who weigh the lives on our side of the border differently than Afghan ones as they are held responsible to wreak havoc in our western neighbour. Reminds one of the word ‘frenemy’ — a friend who is an enemy. An apt word to summarise the recent sparring between Pakistan and USA. If Pak-India relation resembles of Saas-Bahu. Pak-US relationship graduated from friends with benefit to a marriage of convenience gone stale.

Once again, we lament that sacrifices of our soldiers and commoners haven’t been appreciated, acknowledged and applauded

The central character in present face-off is none other than President T, a man who has seen it all, experienced it all, savoured it all, exploited it all, and tamed all that there is to be seen, experienced, savoured, exploited, and tamed in the United States of America. The man has sold land, erected casinos, hosted his own reality TV show, marketed steaks, wrestled in WWE, accompanied divas and grabbed them from wherever he liked. A true maverick who has realised the American Dream beyond his (or anyone else’s) wildest imagination.

And this person, dear reader, who is mercurial at best and at worst a manic septuagenarian on steroids heads the world’s sole hyper power. The nation that was once ruled by giants like Washington, Lincoln, Roosevelt, and Kennedy is in the tiny claws of Mr T whose credentials are dubious, whose mental state is questionable, and whose infamous achievements are pathetic.

Divorced from the understanding of the past, wherever he looks he sees shallowness. The curse of ‘now’ denies him the vision and wisdom to weigh and place things in their right order. And most importantly, who knows not when to speak out or shut up. Pity how the mighty have fallen.

Yet, there is still hope for the melting pot called USA where people from around the world came, dwelled and prospered. It has seen lows before and marched on through the thick and thin of time. It has witnessed and overpowered societal upheavals, survived civil war, got over its isolation, stumped slavery, got over economic dire straits and has proved an exceptional case in the comity of nations.

And in the heat of the moment let us not forget that the world owes a lot to the ‘land of the free and home of the brave’. On the wings of countless innovations, inventions and discoveries in the fields of science and technology the United States of America roared ahead during the last 70 years. It has also enriched the imagination of the world through the poetry of Whitman, cynicism of Hemingway, satire of Heller, extravagance of Fitzgerald, shrewdness of Kissinger, and moral clarity of Chomsky. America, dearest sirs and ma’ams, single handedly shaped the world we dwell in today.

It would be really, really hard if not downright impossible for a ‘very stable genius’ to undo what millions have achieved. In the meantime, let us all pray God to help Americans and the world from the demented, malicious Mr T.