(Disclaimer: this is a work of fiction. Learn to take a joke; you’ll live longer.)
WASHINGTON – Outrage ensued after US President Donald Trump implemented the Jerusalem Embassy Act of 1995 to announce the relocation of the American embassy from Tel Aviv to Jerusalem, in turn recognising the latter as Israel’s capital.
The consensus was further reached that Trump, who has been in-charge at the White House for less than 11 months, is solely responsible for this move, and in turn would be solely responsible for volatility in the Middle East which historians say has existed for millennia.
“Trump will be responsible for the inflammation of the Israel-Palestinian issue which has been already inflamed since at least 1948 – if not 1917, or indeed the seventh century,” opined a leading international affairs expert.
“Not only should Trump be held accountable for whatever happens in Israel/Palestine, he should also be answerable for what has happened in the region till date. I think we’ve finally found the reason why Middle East has remained so volatile for centuries,” said another Middle East analyst.
There is further consensus that since the move would outrage the Muslim world, almost all of which is already outraged by the existence of the state that calls itself Israel, anything that the Muslims do henceforth will also be Trump’s responsibility.
“If you ever needed conclusive proof as to who is responsible for 1400 years of jihadism, look no further than Donald J Trump,” categorically said a Chicago-based Islamic scholar.