Thoughts on our collective yearnings for all things perfect
In our land, grand agendas and the propaganda employed to achieve them is the only thing worth persuading and ruminating about. Day in and day out, we hear what is convenient to our ears
They came. They yelled, roared, danced, listened, celebrated and had a good time. Then they left. Nothing novel in it at all, you may say. As on our side of the hedge same happenings, same specters return at regular intervals after a change of clothes and with a different set of promising slogans.
In our land, grand agendas and the propaganda employed to achieve them is the only thing worth persuading and ruminating about. Day in and day out, we hear what is convenient to our ears, we read only what cements our many prejudices, we share information that either ridicules our enemy or preaches exactness of our opinion, we criticise what we don’t bother to think through. Dearest sirs and ma’ams, we have become midgets who appear titans in selfies we take with metre long sticks or when seen through the lens of a video camera.
Let us make ourselves uncomfortable by wearing our rusty old thinking hats and try to make sense of the mighty jigsaw puzzle by looking at the three apparently unrelated pieces past week threw our way.
A stratagem titled ‘Yaum-e-Tashukar’
What started as an all-day, hide-and-seek thriller at Bani Gala, Islamabad and Lal Haveli, Committee Chowk in Rawalpindi on 28 October died a garish, tacky death on 2 November at Parade Ground. Other than the lively address by motorcycle-riding, toupee-clad, cigar-brandishing phantom of Lal Haveli the whole primetime show reeked of stale bread sans taste and full of smacks. While the health conscious leaders of PTI were keeping morale of their tigers, tigresses and other less ferocious creatures high by doing push-ups and addressing them multiple times; CM Khattak of KPK was braving tear gas shelling, rubber bullets and baton charging from an uncomfortable Land Cruiser.
End result? SC hears multiple petitions and takes up the matter on Nov1 and asks the folks to submit their replies. Within minutes, IK goes on air and announces Yaum-e-Tashakur, a day to celebrate a victory visible only to dear supremo.
Let us just brush under the rug that Islamabad remained under siege for five whole days, its denizens were held hostage to want and desire of a single larger-than-life individual whose only article of faith: Premiership of Pakistan is something the whole cosmos owes me.
Words, idioms, quotes or maxims fail to sum up IK’s designs and antics as long time ago he had bartered away sense and understanding for all times to come.
People wanted a spectacle. They had an engaging performance. The show is dead. Wait, there might be another just around the corner.
Uber patriots of Pakistan deliberate over ‘The Future of Pakistan’ in London
Let’s start with a confession: those of us who write columns, op-eds and features in English too are guilty of perpetuating a narrative of half-truths and downright lies. We consciously (or unconsciously) provide our learned, liberal, open-minded, tolerant, well-read, and financially well-to-do audience, who are coy to share the common man’s hatred of corrupt politicians, bribable government servants and crooked businessmen with an alternative. They desire a big, bad enemy within to bash, an enemy worthy of their precious hatred. Men in khaki, the light bulb went on long time back. We, the scribes joined the chorus immediately afterwards.
Last week In London, gathered all who vie for a liberal and progressive Pakistan. Two former ambassadors joined a clique who blames all things khaki responsible for the misery and torment of their fellow countrymen.
Between Pakistan and India, mutual relations are governed by only one dictum: Religiously observed reciprocity
Kudos, dearest sirs and ma’ams, you just hit the nail on its head. It must have been quite nice to put your finger on the ‘root of all evil’ from a continent away and practicing your freedom of expression to bash the ‘real culprit’ must have felt so exhilarating and liberating, ehh. What heroic deeds.
Let’s end with a fact: Whether we like it or not, there is no exit for Pakistan from a strong army. Brushing aside existential threats as imaginary is one delusion we can bid farewell to. It’s up to you whether you call it a baggage from past, toll tax for existence or price of freedom. It must be carried on and paid. And yeah, just like they say everyone has an axe to grind, so be very wary of axe-grinders, many of them now wield pens.
The diplomats who were spies and vice versa
Between Pakistan and India, mutual relations are governed by only one dictum: Religiously observed reciprocity. Keeping the past happenings in mind the latest kerfuffle over the spies-cum-diplomats and how it was handled by both neighbours proves that a twisted, beastly quid pro quo has completely replaced cool-headed, sensible diplomacy.
There have been personae non gratae before. Both countries declared them thus and ordered them to leave, but never before their faces and names were plastered all over the place, on tellies and in papers. The so called “media leaks” came after expulsion of Mehmood Akhtar, a Pakistani diplomat labelled as a spy by India and this deed was reciprocated by Pakistan when Surjeet Singh, an Indian diplomat came to the fore as an undercover agent involved in similar activities here. On, Friday, 4 November, a total of 14 diplomats from both countries have left for their respective country.
I am not going to offer solace or conclusion this time, dearest sirs and ma’ams. Will leave you with a hint though: Don’t we go back a mile as we try to march down a single block?
