Dear India, don’t slay the wrong dragon

Boycotting SAARC or abrogating IWT won’t mend all that went wrong

In order to cut each other to size and feel good about themselves, the big folks started meddling in each others’ affairs. They waged wars, called each other names, blamed one another of heinous acts of maiming and killings those who were ‘inconvenient’ to their Grand Design

Let us start with a fable. Once upon a time there were two big, brave warriors and six small, shy ones. The big, brave warriors loathed each other and developed irresolvable differences. The six small warriors had no choice but to side with one or the other, depending on the nature of affairs and interests involved. In order to cut each other to size and feel good about themselves, the big folks started meddling in each others’ affairs. They waged wars, called each other names, blamed one another of heinous acts of maiming and killings those who were ‘inconvenient’ to their Grand Design. One warrior, in his bid to outdo his foe, planned to slay the revered dragon of eight lands, a mythic creature that connected all eight warriors in time of desperation and need.

Dear big, brave warrior, please don’t slay the wrong dragon (read SAARC). It won’t help with the dragon (read China) you are ill at ease with. About time that you play your due role to obliterate the many nasty, brutish and fiendish looking monsters like acute poverty, unemployment, health, illiteracy, violence, corruption and so on and so forth who plague South Asia, home to one-fifth of the world’s population. The above fable is an attempt to narrate the plight of more than one and a half billion human beings who’ll live, toil and perish indefinitely.

Before the present escalation, there were some boundaries, some limitations, some ‘no-go areas’ for both Pakistan and India. Neither dared cross them. One such area was the Indus Water Treaty, signed back in 1960 and braved many a storms. Both neighbours fought wars, became nuclear powers, their leaders shook hands after yelling aloud, armies remained at daggers drawn but IWT remained intact and survived all such diatribes till now. Indian Prime Minister Narendra Modi has lived up to his hype of giving surprises even on this front. Modi Ji, kindly give us surprises like 25 December 2015, they suit you more than dredging up ways to scare a neighbour with water wars.

And then comes SAARC, India had been imagining a ‘SAARC sans Pakistan’ for quite some time now. With a disenchanted Afghanistan, an irritated Bangladesh and a choice-less Bhutan by its side, India has indeed more leverage than Pakistan in the regional forum. Pakistan, on the other hand, finds itself in the company of a shy and silent Sri Lanka, a disinterested Maldives and a weightless Nepal. It may come as a surprise to many that in background talks many movers and shakers of Pakistan are also quite vocal about having second thoughts on the efficacy and utility of SAARC.

With India’s avowed mission of ‘isolating Pakistan’ globally, no wonder what they say about charity holds true for isolation as well, it too begins at home. The three decades old South Asian Association for Regional Cooperation, if some mighty miracle does not happen soon, is all set to kick the bucket. What entity will replace SAARC? Is SAARC minus Pakistan a viable idea? What epitaph will be written on the tombstone of SAARC? All these questions will be answered by Lord Time in due time.

The timeline of events preceding the demise of SAARC and death of better sense in South Asia will read as follows: It all started with the demise of a young lad called Burhan Wani, then Kashmir unrest began, then Uri attack took place, then allegations of Pakistan’s involvement were made by India, then speeches were delivered and countered by Pakistan and India at UNGA, then mulling over revoking Indus Water Treaty came, then India, Bhutan, Afghanistan and Bangladesh pulled out of SAARC Summit that was to be held in Pakistan, then India claimed of conducting a ‘surgical strike’ on Pakistani side of LoC and immediately ISPR denied of any such happening. Then the capture of an Indian soldier by Pakistan was made. At the time of filing this column only so much ‘thens’ had taken place.

The war hysteria that is being administered to the masses, catalysed by flag-waving, chest-thumping attitude and spearheaded by media outlets of both countries, has convinced many that in case a war starts, their side will triumph and have the last laugh.

The thing about modern warfare, dearest sirs and ma’ams, is that all the passion, aggression, bravery, righteousness of cause, selflessness and all things noble and admirable are reduced to smithereens by a thoroughly depraved coward who takes aim and press the red button on his controller and puff all things noble vanish forever.

While we are free to believe at our own peril in the Stone Age notions of bravery and nobility in an era where man is killing man with the same ease, in the same manner his kid is murdering battalions after battalions on his gaming console.

Dearest sirs and ma’ams, propaganda is not only bad because it aims to manipulate people, it is downright destructive and debilitating as it robs populace of critical faculty entrusted with arduous task of sifting facts from sheer concoction

Dearest sirs and ma’ams, propaganda is not only bad because it aims to manipulate people, it is downright destructive and debilitating as it robs populace of critical faculty entrusted with arduous task of sifting facts from sheer concoction. I still remember an elder narrating an unusual Indian offer in my childhood. According to him India was willing to barter Kashmir withMalika-e -Tarannum Madam Noor Jehan. I believed him then. And when Madam died in 2000, I knew that the only person who could get us Kashmir is no more.

May our geostrategically positioned tweets, calculated and point blank Facebook posts, loaded online rants, deterrence enhancing live talk shows and ballistic hashtags provide an outlet for much-needed catharsis and solace which we keep looking for in all the wrong places.