Let’s sit back and endure another witless spectacle by wackos without sense
The first cousins of these banners appeared earlier this year after COAS Raheel Sharif unequivocally pronounced his desire to not take any extension in service and retire on time
Dearest sirs and ma’ams, since the silly season is just around the corner you must be expecting some tantalising events amidst the run-of-the-mill daily grind of news, views and reviews covering all things mundane. Well, you won’t be disappointed as omens (read banners) in cities big and small chalk out the future schedule of programming. So, better gird up your loins, fellas, as the omens carrying a graceful picture of COAS and studded with slogans that plead him to ‘come’ for God’s sake have miraculously appeared within a single day in Karachi, Lahore, Islamabad and other cities of Pakistan.
The first cousins of these banners appeared earlier this year after COAS Raheel Sharif unequivocally pronounced his desire to not take any extension in service and retire on time. Although the execution back then was same, the message revolved around pleading General Raheel to stay on and let go of plans to retire on time.
One can’t help but think who is behind these witless acts devoid of a single iota of solemnity or humor? I asked around and everybody, it seems, has his own set of ‘usual suspects’. Some say it is one of the innocuous acts backed by the boots to keep just the right amount of pressure on civvies, others air the view that this gimmick is paddled by some ultra-nationalists striving to get the army’s attention and patronage. And then there is the lot that knows for a fact that the whole banner-baazi is a huge ‘conspiracy’ governed by the maxim ‘divide and rule’ and hatched by international powers to destabilise Pakistan.
Before embarking on further analysis of the motives behind and nomenclature of these banners and the tasteless pathetic ploy they turned out to be, let me remind us all something. Pakistan, after a thorny history of power being repeatedly snatched from the elected governments, is finally en route to see its second complete democratic transition within the next two years. The government of PML-N did its bit to alleviate the lot of fellow countrymen in a country smeared by economic tribulations, soiled by divide and division and shattered by terrorist acts. Our army after shedding all the ifs and buts is now single-mindedly focused on ridding the country of terrorists of all ilk. This knowledge of who’ll do what and where to whom made it possible for both civvies and khakis to give optimal performance in their respective fields.
And then. Enter the banner brigade.
The fact of the matter is; neither the military nor the civilians are behind this horrid, humorless farce. In order to understand this ubiquitous banner phenomenon, we have to indulge in a bit of navel-gazing and take a step back in order to see the bigger picture here.
Since the dawn of civilisation, every society has had its fair share of sycophants and toadies. Ours is no different at all. In our land, too, the smaller fish in the pond always seek the patronage of bigger ones. A small-timer bully indulges himself in dangerous acts so that a bigger bully can witness his audacity and reward him accordingly. The unknown and irrelevant satiate their cravings for recognition and power by associating themselves with the renowned and famed.
In our body politic, there is a character commonly known as, ‘Mr Chief Supporter’. Whenever elections are announced this character rears its ugly head and starts spending loads of money on fuel, catering, corner meetings and banners. Ranging from provision of cars for canvassing all over the constituency to downright financial support, this creature can be found attached to almost all candidates who are vying for power. If the candidate wins, the sponsor not only gets his money back but also bags extra goodies in shape of favours, approach, tenders and other perks. If the candidate loses, well it is just another investment that went stale.
The menace of this brassy, avaricious breed is done corrupting our electoral politics and is now eyeing at our military. The cheap gimmicks of putting up banners with downright absurd fantasies and enticing a battle-hardened, A-class general with the political power and imagining him as the head of government by technocrats is something more absurd than anything ever imagined by either Kafka or Camus.
General Raheel Sharif is, by all evaluations, the best general we’ve seen in decades. The way he conducted himself, the way he led an embattled army, the family he hails from and the legacy he’ll leave for his successors will serve as an exemplary model for times to come. Our premier’s decision of choosing him over others has proven worthy. Now the people of Pakistan and observers all over the world want to see ‘Team Sharif’ deliver.
And as far as this recent spree of Banner-baazi is concerned, well, it would be better if the lads at ‘Move On Pakistan’ start selling some other ‘manjan’and stop putting our COAS’s picture in close proximity of shamelessly cheesy and downright kitschy Urdu one-liners that play havoc with our sense of taste, sight and hearing.
And lastly, dearest sirs and ma’ams, whether you are a civvy or a khaki, be very wary of such Jaan-nisars as some time back other dimwits of same stock made and unmade a certain former Justice, who then formed a political party whose name is one arduous task to remember. If memory serves me well it had words like justice, critic and democracy thrown together in one nonsensical mix. I don’t quite recall it, do you?
