Social media exhibitionism

Who is the woman on your Facebook page, Zara? Is she you? No, really. Is she the woman who stays in her untidy, un-pressed casual dress whole day, who hardly combs her hair while at home, run out of groceries very often, and agonises over the ‘nakhras’ of her maid? Or is she the you who works out, eats out at upscale eateries, visit lawn exhibitions and is a social butterfly?

This response is not very uncommon about the people one knows both in ‘actual reality’ and ‘virtual reality’. By looking at the online image of these folks on the cyberspace, especially the social media, one cannot help but envy them, but wait. Is it worth it? The answer is a simple, plain, big NO. As our social media life is the life that we want people to believe we lead, that’s the selective self-representation. It’s not so much that they are glossifying their life in the digital realm, but that the web enables them to highlight a part of themselves that doesn’t get enough play in the real world. Never before have we had such a platform to express ourselves, nor such flexibility in how we do this. Have a song that describes your day? Post it. Brought a new pair of shoes? Show them off. Annoyed at a colleague? Go ahead and vent!

Social networking sites, a product of the 21st century, provide new access to the self as an object. By providing multiple opportunities for selective self-presentation—through photos, personal details, and witty comments—social networking sites exemplify how modern technology sometimes forces us to reconsider how we portray our image to the world.

But, let’s take a moment here for some introspection; does our ‘virtual’ reality complement our ‘real’ reality? Seldom. And how it affects our happiness or sadness? Profoundly. When one scrolls down his/her social media profiles the page is loaded with perceived realities; friends wearing designer dresses, going out for dinners, having quality time with family, we go awe-struck and into the mood of self-pity.

What can we do about it? Start posting our pictures mopping the floor? Or put up a status about how you had an argument with your mother-in-law this morning? Or maybe about the office politics? Doesn’t sound like a great idea. Here comes the big question: how can we opt for a ‘happy marriage’ of our ‘both realities’, if that’s even possible?

Yes, there are ways to sort a patch up between your ‘dual identities’. Learn to be comfortable in your own skin, both literally and figuratively; accept your reality, there is no harm in projecting your best image but make sure it does not take toll of your happiness and peace of mind.

Know that no one is leading a perfect life, everyone has their own set of problems, it’s just that they have this propensity and in fact right to not project them on social media, but that should not, in any way, make you believe that you are not leading a life as perfect as theirs.

Embrace your complete reality. If you post a picture dining out at an upscale restaurant, try, for a change, posting your picture having your regular ‘daal chawal’ with ‘achaar’ too.

Enjoy your best moments without going frantic over not being able to get perfect display picture. You and only you have this exclusive right over that moment, don’t miss it for your audience on social media.

In short just be yourself. Even on the cyber space, it holds the key to your mental tranquility and happiness, not the followers, likes and comments on your social media profiles.

SADIA HUSSAIN DOGAR

Lahore