Our Staff Reporter
Peshawar: After months of being the respective pain in each other’s backsides Prime Minister Nawaz Sharif and Pakistan Tehrik-e-Insaf (PTI) Chairman Imran Khan have settled their differences. This was the major announcement and talking point in the All Parties Commission (APC) following the tragic Peshawar attack.
Both the political leaders have overcome their political differences, as cowardice, incompetence and downright wretchedness united the two.
Talking exclusively to Khabaristan Today Imran Khan said that while rigging was still a huge crime, this was a time to unite for the nation.
“There are a lot of things that unite me and Nawaz Sharif,” Khan told Khabaristan Today. “Taliban apologia for starters. But I have heard they will be trying Taliban apologists for treason so we need to look at other things,” he added.
“This is why I actually named the Tehrik-e-Taliban Pakistan this time. That’s a bloody tongue twister if there ever was one,” the PTI chief further stated.
Agreeing with Imran Khan’s stance, Nawaz Sharif shared his thoughts with Khabaristan Today.
“Yes, my tongue hasn’t ever found it easy to pull that one off either. It’s tough. But for Pakistan’s sake both Khan and I have overcome our tongue twisting problems,” the prime minister said.
“We have found unity and solace in other things. And this definitely is the time to unite for the nation,” he added.
Unconfirmed reports have claimed that the biggest uniting factor that the two leading politicians of Pakistan found was hiding each other’s cowardice and downright incompetence. We will update you in next week’s edition if there were any official confirmations.
*****
All Taliban apologists to be tried for treason
Our Law Correspondent
Islamabad: In what is an uncharacteristically bold move by the Pakistan federal government anyone deemed to be an apologist for the Taliban would be tried for treason with immediate effect, it has emerged. Sources claim that all Taliban apologists will be tried in anti-terrorism courts, and the rather obvious verdict will be given within three minutes.
The swiftness of verdicts is to accommodate a major chunk of Pakistan’s population in this judicial process. The government wants swift and strict action against anyone spewing apologia to shield the Taliban.
Reports suggest that initially the verdict was supposed to include anyone who has been apologetic on behalf of the Taliban for the past decade or so. But the decision was reversed after it was found out that more than 90 per cent of the Parliament would have been tried for treason had this move gone ahead.
Sources further confirm that it is this deterrence of treason trial that has forced Pakistan Tehrik-e-Insaf (PTI) Chairman Imran Khan and Prime Minister Nawaz Sharif to not only overcome their political differences and tongue twisters, but also formally name the Taliban.
It is yet to be seen how these treason trials impact the ongoing treason trial of former President and Chief of Army Staff (COAS) General (retd) Pervez Musharraf, who could now be tried for multiple treasons, depending on judicial interpretations.
*****
Peace only possible when India is conquered: Zaid Hamid
Our Security Correspondent
Rawalpindi: Highlighting Bollywood, Big Boss and IPL as one of the major reasons behind Pakistan’s volatile state, renowned security expert and generally funny man, Zaid Zaman Hamid has stated that peace in Pakistan is only possible when India is conquered. It is pertinent to not that Hamid did not use ‘if’, and preferred to use ‘when’ to describe Pakistan’s prospects of conquering India.
“If the Peshawar attack isn’t a cause to initiate Ghazwa-e-Hind, I don’t know what is!” Zaid Hamid said while talking to Khabaristan Today. “Peace is only possible in Pakistan when our mujahideen conquer India,” he added.
“Those mujahideen could be good, bad or ugly – that is totally and utterly irrelevant.”
Hamid vociferously endorsed ban on all Indian things within the realm of Pakistan and vowed to personally wage jihad and instigate Ghazwa-e-Hind if no one accompanies him. But he was secretly confident that he won’t be alone in his endeavour, according to reports.
Sources reveal that Hamid has already sent a message to Hafiz Saeed and it is expected that Zaid Hamid will be playing Ajmal Kasab’s role in the soon to be confirmed Ghazwa-e-Hind. Saeed Noor will direct the project, sources confirmed.
