Azadi March updates you don’t want to miss

The hottest news straight from the PTI office

PTI’s Azadi March has thus far been a huge success with plenty of people. The idea of a revolution seems to be selling like hotcakes and it is because the march got this much popularity that it is often impossible to stay abreast of all the important updates. Pakistan Today knows exactly how important it is for their readers to stay in the know. That is why we’ve rounded up all the updates that you definitely shouldn’t miss out on.

Dharna training camps

Based on the abysmal preparation and attitudes of the naujawans that attended Immy K’s annual protest festival aka Azadi March, it was realised how important is it to properly train the youth in the art of staging the perfect dharna. The training camp will come straight out of KP and will train young men and women that can really march up to places and shut things down in seconds. Imran Khan will personally be overseeing many of the preparations of the camp to ensure that the slight fiascos experienced in Islamabad aren’t repeated later on. It was noticed that several Insafians would leave for Murree, Monal and other such places only to return later when more people were around. “To show the world that the dedication is real the youngsters gathered in the Red Zone should act with unity, faith and discipline. We must have training camps, it is the only way to move forward and ensure that Noora doesn’t rest in peace,” Imran Khan told Pakistan Today in an exclusive interview.

The PML-N has been trying to counter Imran’s appeal to the youth without the same kind of success. It remains to be seen if they will be able to come up with something that can truly knock Imran off of his feet once he puts the dharna training camps in motion. Mere Gullu Butts will no longer suffice.

Islamic dancing to be introduced

Only a few days ago we heard Imran Khan loud and clear when he told the world that Allah Mian himself has trained him for what he’s about to do. When Allah Mian is the one doing all the training how can a man go wrong? These days it’s become extremely mainstream to oppose Imran Khan through any means possible, which is why people have now started opposing PTI for letting women dance at its protest sites. It is a well known fact that women are not allowed to enjoy themselves one bit in Pakistan — all sorts of activity related to women having fun is haram. PTI is well aware of this as well. To solve this problem PTI will be introducing the Islam friendly method of dancing at its rallies. Women will be able to enjoy themselves just as much as the men without having to worry about whether they are committing a grave sin. All the people calling these women all sorts of nasty names will also have to be quiet, because Imran Khan was trained by Allah Mian for all that he has to do to win during this year’s protest festival.

Several leading scholars will be consulted so that appropriate dance measures could be implemented properly. It takes two to tango in most parts of the world, but with Imran it’s a three-way that includes him, PTI and Allah Mian. Mashallah.

Dharna Music Awards

While we’re on the subject of dancing, who can ignore the musical genius that comes out of any PTI procession? For lovers of music there’s some truly brilliant news. Headed your way soon are the Dharna Music Awards! Imran Khan is verily a gift that keeps giving. There are talks that the grand Kaptaan is in the process of finalising a deal with a major TV station. Pakistan Today was in touch with a source close to the king of cricket and he has spilled all kinds of juicy details. “Imran knows how much people of this country love fanfare, entertainment and of course music. He will be looking for more ways to find a space into the public’s heart and this is just one step,” he told us.

All the best hits from the dharna will be re-enacted with pomp and show for the world to see. There are rumours that suggest that a separate stage and set is being developed to portray the situation in the most realistic way possible. And that’s not all. The teams that will be performing will be doing so live. Viewers will actually be able to dial in and cast their votes for their favourite Dharna performers and the winners will be signed for a once in a lifetime chance to perform alongside Imran at all future rallies, protests and demonstrations that he stages. We don’t know about you but that sounds all sorts of amazing to us.

The author is an avid dharna supporter and likes staging protests against all sorts of things including vegetables, influenza and working on Saturdays. Email at [email protected] to discuss your favourite dharna topics.