Who better than this lot?
You must have recently observed the relative subsiding of the biggest tsunami to have ever hit Pakistan. What with the successful holding of the by-elections and the long-dreaded senate elections; symbolically important events such as Bhitai ki Marvi choosing PML(N), the Ijaz-Pasha duo failing to remove the government higher-ups, the PPP handling the Supreme Court situation supremely adeptly; the alleged rifts among top PTI leadership on the issue of contesting by-elections; and the PTI’s inability to stage a political show of force in Quetta as promised; this has been a pretty unforgettable season for Chairman Imran.
If you are a PTI supporter and are feeling a little unsettled, I have good news. If you are a detractor and are elated, I have bad news. True, the PTI and kuptaan have uncharacteristically been low-key lately. But this is only a temporary lull, and the tsunami will be back with a vengeance, this chronicler is glad to report. The major reason behind the relative calm can also now be demystified. Unobserved by the media and unbeknownst to the world at large, the PTI has been undertaking a mega-project that will eventually blow away all remnants of the status quo from the society. As soon as the preparations for this vital business are concluded, the usual joining-ins by deserters from Q and N will resume, according to sources that shall remain strictly anonymous. And now to the aforementioned project:
Imran Khan has often been accused of politics of slogans: politics that are big on agenda but completely devoid of any concrete policies. In a move that is typical of Imran and especially his enthusiasts, the PTI has graciously taken all this criticism on board (they haven’t abused any critic of being on the PML(N) or CIA payroll – perish the thought!) and has responded by identifying five major issues and making task forces on each. Each task force is required to submit at its earliest recommendations for the formulation of concrete policies regarding the respective issue.
The five priorities are banishing of gaddis, unification of the education system, a firm and ghairatmand foreign policy, controlling the unbridled feudalism, and corruption eradication.
The task force on eradication of gaddis, which in the twenty first century are an absolute disgrace to this proud nation, will be headed by Shah Mehmood Qureshi. Shah sahab is determined to start at home and get rid of his gaddi first. He is not only willing to sit on a sofa in future; he has resolved to magnanimously provide some chairs to the poor masses of Multan as well. Because of the involvement of furniture, Imran has tactfully convinced a very enthusiastic Khurshid Mehmood Kasuri to stay away from this enterprise, which is great news because Kasuri sahab’s services can be better utilised elsewhere – on the international scene to be precise – which we will come to presently.
For the all-important task of unification of the education system, Imran has unleashed Fauzia Kasuri. Fauzia, who happens to know everything there is to know about education, is singularly suited for this task. She will make sure that if the government schools can’t be brought to the level of Beaconhouse and City School, the latter will be lowered to the former’s level so that we have a unified education system in Pakistan. The concept of the “elite school” will therefore soon be a thing of the past, which will quickly lead to one-class society. Mehmood and Ayaz are doing their ablutions as we speak.
Mr Kasuri is chosen to be the top-man for the third task, namely the formulation of a self-respecting foreign policy. You can never quite separate principled diplomacy and a firm foreign policy from handkerchief and napkin impeccably tucked into the coat pocket and shirt collar respectively – not to forget lapel flowers – and who can dare challenge our Kasuri sahab in those activities! People unfairly criticise Kasuri sahab for meekly handing over all those scientists to the US for torture purposes the last time around. People forget that it was all Musharraf’s fault, and with a ghairatmand chief executive like Imran Khan at the helm, Kasuri is sure to be our answer to Henry Kissinger.
Jamal Leghari is an ace of spades who could equally effectively head both the feudalism-control and the corruption eradication task forces. Reportedly he wanted to head both but Imran, ever the shrewd tactician, has asked him to handle the former, considering that his expertise at the latter may not be top-notch since he was relatively inexperienced at the time of the Mehran Bank scandal.
Ijaz “Dabang” Khan Jazi is the anointed head of the corruption eradication task force. Like his kuptaan, Jazi is known for his no-nonsense ways and an iron will. Enough said.
The nation keenly awaits the formulation and subsequent announcement of concrete PTI policies regarding the above critical issues facing the country.
Tailpiece: It is reported that General Pasha was offered an extension but he refused because he wanted to head the election cell (PTI’s, not ISI’s) but Imran has politely declined, telling him that the PTI won’t be contesting any elections till the last bogus vote is removed from the voters’ lists, which, to the chairman’s relief, won’t be any time soon. Now Pasha is gutted because he is heading neither. However, being a Pakistani general, sooner or later he will get something or the other to head.
The writer is a member of the band Beygairat Brigade.
Initial thought was that this is another PTI bashing article…………….but you know what I acutally had a good laugh reading it.
We take you skeptism with a smile, we realize your intentions are well meaning.
your sarcasm is lost on PTI troll…:-)
What are the credentials of this author, just because he wrote a song means he gets promoted as a columnist in Pakistan Today. Maybe we should get Annie to start commenting on politics
hehe …You are so damn right man
Fahd…what r the credentials of Naji Sahib tho he is a very successful column writer? What r the credentials of Rao Sahib to run a commercial airline and the Army to run a country. I mean, it is not as if u exhibit a film called Gul-e-Bakawli and it runs for 52 weeks. As long as u enjoy reading it, that is enough credentials. I thoroughly enjoy it, tho I may b biased being the father of the author. I also read the Qasmi and Pirzada father and son because most of the time they r amusing. Otherwise, I am not interested in the divinely inspired solutions that they may have for our woes. I have been led up the primrose path by many an intellectual like HOODbhoy, Aslam Beg, Ishaq Khan and their ilk.
Who BTW is Annie? Ali did not get promoted…song writing is a harder task that column writing. I challenge u to read all the colums that appear daily. The songs normally make a mark howsoever briefly. Ali's created a record of sorts.
Dear writter for god sake please stick to "Meri Ma ne pakay aalo Anday" type stuff 🙂
@ALi Aftab I think you got multiple talents. I heard your talk at Karachi Literal festival..you got great analysis skills. I have read all of your columns and I love your song. Keep up the good work..Einstein said "Greats souls have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds " PTI have mediocre minds ignore them
I wonder who helps you write these articles. I have seen your interviews on youtube. You seem incapable of forming a single sentence.
Enjoyed reading the column though.
And, btw, this PTI troll gets your sarcasm. (I am pretty sure the previous one did too.)
Dear Ali, Imran Khan is best case study ever to prove that that liberal and progressive forces of Pakistan are unable to create or initiate any kind of political mass-mobilization. However they are very good at analysis and speculations which is very convenient.
Karl Marx rightly said; "Philosophers have explained the world enough, now is the time to change it".
2, 3 columns straight in a row & PTI Tsunami is subsiding…
The whole point of the article was to cement the impression that Imran's tsunami has fizzled out which itself is a great innuendo. As for the policies, I wonder when would the writer question the dynastic parties of the country who have taken umpteenth turns in power about their policies and practical steps. Or is it the case of proverbial bias that moment you hear 'Roti, Kapra and Makan', the probing sense gets defunct and nothing but grotesque grovelling and fawning pours out.
optimistic approach but unfortunately most of us are stick to status quo we dosent want change
khan jee I also like changes like I have changed my hairstyle and my brother zardari has changed style of moustaches brother gillani change his clothes daily we want like changes ok
While you give "supreme" credit to PPP for "adept" handling of Supreme Court; you miss a point here,reasons could be more than one.You may call it the very adept handling of the case by all Parties concerned including CJ.
i have seen a lot of wise people who talk like if they are being paid by PPP or promised for NA tickets in next election …These mediocres created by our society ruined all departments in Pakistan ..you make a stupid political song and you r fully authorize to criticize n write political articles ..you can speak louder so your Talk show gets highest rating(while people who intensely studied journalism whole life sit n watch them grow ) ….We r full of these people all around us…Misfitted , respected people given wrong roles because of wrong doing …
Tsunami is there .credit goes media who over hyped everything for a while n then they got some thing else to show ..so they forgot Tsunami for a while n show what sells ..so don't worry guys ..change element is still there ..PTI is still strong ..it does not matter that for a while media has some thing else to show so they assume that Tsunami is gone ..it is very well there
lolz….Nice one..
I think General Pasha had refused to make an intercourse with all the female relatives of these SOB columnists, this is why they are so annoyed with him.Specially HAMID MIR.
Finally…..the press can finally see through this piece of rotten mess that is Imran Khan.
Naveed….would u like to take over the role of which Hamid Mir and others have just been deprived of by Shuja?
I would rather like to take the role of Shuja and believe me i will not disappoint you and Hamid Mir.
You know whats funny, just read 2 articles and then make judgements. Everyone has the right to express his side of the story, IK did on Islamabad tonight on 13th march 2012 program.
They are scrutinizing their constitution, their policies and seminars on the 5 emergency issues to be tackled & finally getting the whole party as an organization by starting the registration campaign across Pakistan and then holding elections within the party.
Once this is complete, PTI would be a democratic institutionalized party. A good listener is a good speaker..he has people with him who have done politics of every sort..he is learning and improving accordingly. So please do your research, check your sources and then pass on judgements..
its a norm now to criticize PTI to get comments and ratings. what about the fact where Pakistan is headed..do you see yourself driving a taxi after 5 years..believe me I will not stand by this.
Ali Aftab or Ali Azmat with views of two extremes , should sing rather then getting influenced by their mentors Zaid Hamid & Nadeem Paracha. Please kindly do us this favor as, there are enough columnists & Televangelists on politics. Thanks
What is so wrong if Ali has written some columns,anyone can write as long as there are people to read and comment.Most of the column writers are just praising one party or another or those getting dollers are praising USA and criticizing army and ISI. So I think it is time for the educated one's to come forward and perform in all departments. We should encourage such activity and that is way to bring change in this country. Keep it up Ali.
Rubbish piece of writing. It flows like an incoherent drivel.
what a rubbish piece of article……………seems to be paid actor
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