Zardari, I love you

Being a third world country has its own disadvantages for the politicians that inhabit these lands. Unfortunately, as fate would have it they were born in Pakistan, and not in the family of Queen Elizabeth I, royalty they truly deserved. Amongst other things, the cost of living has increased tremendously for these parliamentarians, the ‘elected’ representatives of the people of the country. George Orwell summed up equality in perhaps the most Pakistani context. ‘All men are equal, yet some are more equal than others.’ Clearly, the parliamentarians, the ‘chosen ones’ are more equal than the rest of the nation and while inflation might have taken its toll on the ordinary man, it has hit the parliamentarians harder than anybody else. It is therefore unfair to blame the present regime for doubling the national debt in four years – it took us 60 years to borrow 4.8 trillion and it now stands at 10.5 trillion – which increased by a mere 5.7 trillion.
A man i hold in high regard, Farrukh Saleem, in his recent article mentioned some staggering statistics that I will mention in the course of this article. I feel extremely sorry at the plight of the parliamentarians. The depreciating rupee, the widening trade deficit, the fiscal deficit, the circular debt, the loss making PSE’s, the cost of financing their humble abodes are truly taking a toll on our chosen, elected representatives. ‘Democracy is the best revenge,’ I heard this somewhere, but I would rather push my own self in harms way and allow democracy to take its vengeance on me, than allow it to perturb our honorable parliamentarians. Unfortunately, democracy is taking its revenge from a democratically elected government by subjecting it to problems that are greater than the peaks of Nanga Parbat.
My love for our ‘chosen representatives’ cannot be summed up in mere words, nay, I’ll have to dip my pen in blood and even then it won’t do justice to the greatness of our democratically elected government. So, I would rather see my child starving than watch the children of our representatives being denied of their gaming consoles and luxury vehicles. I would rather sleep in freezing temperatures than allow gas to be interrupted to the highest echelons of power in Islamabad. I would rather walk to earn a source of livelihood, than watch our masters fret over the protests that bring a sweat on their brows, and I’m glad they still sleep like a baby at night. I would rather give up what is rightfully mine, for someone incompetent because he is more equal than me. My request to you all, love thy masters.
After all, the political costs of running the government has now exceeded Rs1 trillion. The cost of the PM secretariat has increased owing to ‘inflation’ by a massive 137 per cent, to Rs15 lakh a day, 365 days of the year. With teary eyes, I look wistfully at the humble abodes of our masters. How they must struggle in these difficult times. The cost of the cabinet division has swelled to Rs80 lakh a day, 365 days of the year. The cost of running the President house is now Rs13 lakh a day. And yet, despite all their troubles, they do not spare a thought and smile cheerfully back at us. Oh how they care for us, if only you could see.
The power sector consumes Rs100 crores a day, that’s Rs360 billion a year, or 2.5 per cent of Pakistan’s GDP. in addition to the power sector 42 other public sector entities are losing Rs100 crore a day. As for the national flag carrier, in the third quarter ending September 30th, PIA reported a loss of Rs8.3b or Rs100 million a day, every day of that particular quarter. ‘At Emirates, an airline that PIA helped build, profits this year stand at $1.5b or Rs350 million a day, up 51.9 per cent’ Dr Farrukh writes. Well, thankyou for these wonderful statistics Dr Sahab. i now understand the hardships being faced by the democratically elected government. They truly deserve a round of applause. Nobel prize for bravery perhaps. I mean, you tell me? How many people do you know who can grin cheerfully, just when they’ve thrown Rs1,000,000,000,000 in the gutters. Not many. I thought so. And this is why, I love Asif Ali Zardari and the democratically elected government.