If I were Zardari

One would think how does Mr Asif Ali Zasrdari pull it off all the time? He made a fool out of PML(N) more than once. He unleashed Zulfiqar Mirza in way that the MQM didn’t know a place to hide.

In the recent crisis, there were voices which suggested Zardari might quit. However, if there is one thing Zardari doesn’t know, it is to quit. He spent almost a decade in jail, didn’t quit.

Knowing the political genius he is, I thought to myself, what would I do if I was Zardari? Well, I would repent, but the trouble is, then I couldn’t be Zardari. I tried harder, and unbelievably I came up with a scheme to get in the power for next term too. Currently, I have started seeing some of it on the media already. I promise I will repent later, but for the moment consider that I am Zardari: I would bring in my son Bilawal Bhutto-Zardari and crowd of the popular leaders of PPP around me. I might even fire a few, like Rehman Malik. The best would be to somehow get the government ousted to become a siyasi shaheed. After all, we have to live up to the name, “the party of martyrs”.

Poor Pakistanis will feel that this is the change they wanted. Now, there is no need for Imran to ring or Shahbaz to sing. Bilawal can be the president and Aitzaz can be Prime Minister or I won’t mind a vice versa either, because I am the one running the show.

PS: I offered Nawaz Sharif my teachings; he better not whine about his turn after next elections.

SULTAN MEHMOOD

Lahore