Debt, Berlusconi and pepperoni

Any ardent follower of the Italian cuisine would let you know whether the topping atop any given pizza has deserved its right to be there or not. The quintessential pepperoni pizza has its meat topping blending seamlessly with the layer of cheese beneath it. Even if it is slightly overcooked, the pepperoni loses its shape and the pizza becomes a tasteless serving of unfulfilled promises. However, only a deluded chef would continue to try and have another go at the same recipe, without giving much thought to the fact that the same ingredients could not possibly result in a rejuvenated taste, especially when the oven simmers to unprecedented temperatures. Italy’s political arena is one such sweltering oven, and Silvio Berlusconi proved himself to be that pepperoni that fails to fulfill the collaborative demands of the cheese below it and succumbs to increase in temperatures.
As the Italian market continues to plunge into obscurity, the groundbreaking debt numbers being posted have obvious repercussions for the rest of Europe as well. The FTSE has been disturbed owing to the Italian predicament while the Dax in Germany and the Cac-40 in France have had their applecarts upset at varying scales. Italy, being the third largest country in the euro domain would, without a shadow of doubt, encompass most of the zone as far as after effects are concerned. Also, while the massive Italian debt encumbers the neighbourhood, its sheer volume connotes that that it is too big to bailout, unlike Greece, Ireland and Portugal.
As the focus shifts from the Greek Apáki to the Italian Pizza, there is a myriad of reasons to destroy the European appetite. Italy is the eighth largest economy in the world, with a GDP of $2 trillion, and debts exceeding the $2.2 trillion mark – or 120 per cent of the total GDP, it would be an understatement to say that the chef slightly overcooked this pizza. Rates on Italian bonds have escalated to over 7 per cent – while the numbers are haunting, the precipitous increase is even more daunting. Amidst such earth shattering crises, the tasteless pepperoni is only exacerbating the situation.
Berlusconi’s idea to tackle the matter was manifested via his reform policy, which was met with scrutinising glares and sceptical noises – the businessmen were perturbed and the politicians were downright offended. It seems as if the Italian crisis is at a point where recovery seems like a Herculean task – and not just your Average Joe Hercules; someone with unprecedented savoir faire and drive.
According to estimates if Italy’s borrowing continues to mount, the Italian hierarchy would have to raise around $880 billion in the next three years. The devil is becoming more menacing day by day and the deep blue see has reached an unparalleled depth, so to speak. And now with the pepperoni, out of colour, out of shape and out of demand which topping would the cuisine doctor order? The first option is a dose of ‘endive’ straight from the Sicilian recipe – Angelino Alfano. Often labeled as the fixer ingredient and fresh in taste and spirit, this particular brand of endive has stuck loyally to the pepperoni and enhanced its taste in the past – but is it time for him to become ‘the’ topping? The second option is the plum tomato from up north – Mario Monti. Hardly anything could be more contrasting to the ferocity of the would-be supplanted pepperoni. A banking connoisseur, Monti is a technocratic tomato and might just have enough sauce to whet the appetite of the Italians.
Nevertheless, it is clear that Italy is in a sweltering pot and it would take a lot of courage and prudence for the nation – and indeed Europe as a whole to – dig itself out. There are a lot of key players in the game and one could hope for the Europeans sake that too many cooks do not spoil the broth.

The writer is sub-editor, Profit and can be reached at [email protected]