Former spymaster accused of defaming Army by claiming it eliminated world’s most wanted terrorist

(Disclaimer: this is a work of fiction. Learn to take a joke; you’ll live longer.) RAWALPINDI – Retired Lieutenant General Asad Durrani, former spy chief...

Tahir-ul-Qadri returns after directors agree to give him same screen-time as Imran Khan

LAHORE – Star performer Dr Tahir-ul-Qadri will finally return to screens of all sizes this summer, after long stalled negotiations with directors had postponed...

KP will deal with Dengue crisis with specially designed winter: Imran

Elaborating on his previous statement on Khyber Pakhtunkhwa’s alarming dengue epidemic, Chairman Pakistan Tehrik-e-Insaf Imran Khan said that the specially designed winter season would...

CJP outraged Asad Umar didn’t consult him before inflating cost of Bhasha dam

(Disclaimer: this is a work of fiction. Learn to take a joke; you’ll live longer.) An outraged Chief Justice of Pakistan Mian Saqib Nisar on...

Pakistan recognises Israel after Hareem Shah accidentally pulls lever under PM’s chair

(Disclaimer: this is a work of fiction. Learn to take a joke; you’ll live longer.) Pakistan has inadvertently recognised the State of Israel after social...

Pakistan continues to stand with Saudi Arabia in ongoing clash with human rights

(Disclaimer: this is a work of fiction. Learn to take a joke; you’ll live longer.) ISLAMABAD: Pakistan has expressed its solidarity with Saudi Arabia in...

UK Foreign Office asks Islamabad to take back 15 Pakistani overstayers

(Disclaimer: this is a work of fiction. Learn to take a joke; you’ll live longer.) LONDON – Foreign Minister Shah Mahmood Qureshi said that Britain...

Money is mere illusion, says philosophical Asad Umer after failing to shore up reserves

(Disclaimer: this is a work of fiction. Learn to take a joke; you’ll live longer.) Twirling a still unlit cigarette between his fingers, creased at...

Government too busy to get involved in governance activities: Government Spokesperson

(Disclaimer: this is a work of fiction. Learn to take a joke; you’ll live longer.) The PTI-led government is being severely criticised for its inability...

Dentist nervous to be sitting next to actual doctor during parade

(Disclaimer: this is a work of fiction. Learn to take a joke; you’ll live longer.) A dentist in Islamabad made an embarrassing spectacle of himself...

CJP heads to Rio de Janeiro to meet his hero after Brazilian Chief Justice...

(Disclaimer: this is a work of fiction. Learn to take a joke; you’ll live longer.) RIO DE JANEIRO – Chief Justice of Pakistan Saqib Nisar...

Lahore disappointed as Orange Line Metro Train not nearly orange enough

(Disclaimer: this is a work of fiction. Learn to take a joke; you’ll live longer.) LAHORE – Hopeful commuters were left disappointed following the 11...

Saqib Nisar demands to be let back in after family ‘accidentally’ locks him out...

Former Chief Justice of the Supreme Court Saqib Nisar has demanded an immediate re-entry into his residence after he was mistakenly locked out. "This is...

New no-nonsense Finance Committee chairman can’t believe ‘what idiots at Finance Ministry have done...

(Disclaimer: this is a work of fiction. Learn to take a joke; you’ll live longer.) ISLAMABAD – New no-nonsense chairman of the National Assembly’s Standing...

Mobile-snatching bike gangs to also form breakaway faction called MQM (Nazriati)

(Disclaimer: this is a work of fiction. Learn to take a joke; you’ll live longer.) Karachi – Our Gangster Correspondent: Hot on the heels of a split...

Those calling agricultural land property have never ploughed fields like I have: Maryam Nawaz

(Disclaimer: this is a work of fiction. Learn to take a joke; you’ll live longer.) LAHORE – Pakistan Muslim League-Nawaz (PML-N) Maryam Nawaz has hit...

JUI-F gets token number 245/500 for protest queue in Lahore

JUI-F Chief Maulana Fazlur Rehman’s plan to bock all major highways across the country, after deciding to end his party’s Dharna in Islamabad, has...