Punjab Police foils Abid Boxer’s bid to celebrate Valentine’s Day in Lahore

(Disclaimer: this is a work of fiction. Learn to take a joke; you’ll live longer.) LAHORE – Former police inspector Abid Boxer who has been...

Mobile-snatching bike gangs to also form breakaway faction called MQM (Nazriati)

(Disclaimer: this is a work of fiction. Learn to take a joke; you’ll live longer.) Karachi – Our Gangster Correspondent: Hot on the heels of a split...

Punjab University denies plans of curtailing admissions of Pashtun, Baloch students to jails

(Disclaimer: this is a work of fiction. Learn to take a joke; you’ll live longer.)   Coming down hard on the rumours of a possible curtailment...

Govt retracts Paigham-e-Pakistan using WhatsApp’s message recalling feature

ISLAMABAD – WhatsApp has the government of Pakistan’s back allowing it to retract a message thanks to its latest feature. With the Facebook-owned messaging app...

Out-of-work labourer denied UAE visa

(Disclaimer: this is a work of fiction. Learn to take a joke; you’ll live longer.) In a heartrending tale of inhumanity which has taken the...

Islamabad Club staffers not permitted to enter thoughts and prayers of members

(Disclaimer: this is a work of fiction. Learn to take a joke; you’ll live longer.) Lahore – Our Elite Tabqa Correspondent: The Islamabad Club on Friday...

Nation’s journalists to wear mock suicide belts to avoid interrogation, abduction

(Disclaimer: this is a work of fiction. Learn to take a joke; you’ll live longer) ISLAMABAD/LAHORE/KARACHI – Pakistan Federal Union of Journalists (PFUJ), the Punjab...

Nation’s serving husbands protest against two-time ousted husband being allowed to head another family

(Disclaimer: this is a work of fiction. Learn to take a joke; you’ll live longer) ISLAMABAD/LAHORE/KARACHI – After news spread that a renowned two time...

Differences put aside after Doraemon joins PTI

(Disclaimer: this is a work of fiction. Learn to take a joke; you’ll live longer) Our Cartoon Network/PTI Correspondent - Hostilities between the Pakistan Tehrik-e-Insaf and...

Will resign if world doesn’t end in 2018: Dr Shahid Masood

(Disclaimer: this is a work of fiction. Learn to take a joke; you’ll live longer) In a move that has shocked his fanbase, Dr Shahid...

Local banker’s eight-month-old son showing excellent third-quarter results

Karachi – Our Finance Correspondent: Shahwez Hassan, the eight-month-5-day-old son of Tariq Hassan, a local corporate banker, is already showing good results in the third...

Nation’s misogynists accept Mahira Khan’s apology

LAHORE/KARACHI/ISLAMABAD – Moments after Actor Mahira Khan said sorry for her pictures with fellow star Ranbir Kapoor in New York, nation’s misogynists wasted no...

First girlfriend probably married to some dentist or something now: Pakistan Bureau of Statistics

The Pakistan Bureau of Statistics (PBS) informed you on Tuesday that your first girlfriend was probably married to some dentist or something by now. “Yes,...

Lahore smog gets own show on Bol TV

Lahore’s winter smog is the latest in the ever-growing list of celebrities that have their own political talk show on Bol TV. “It is...

Berger Robbialac White neither milk nor tea whitener, PFA angrily clarifies

  The Punjab Food Authority has harshly rebuked recent joint attempts by the tea-whitener and paint mafias to pass off Berger Robbialac White as a...

Three killed, several injured in Pakistan Fashion Council dispute over what colours are ‘in’...

  Lahore – Our In Correspondent: Three people have been killed and an estimated ten others have been injured in a dispute at the Pakistan Fashion...

Area mouse under no threat from claw grabbing its tail, area cat clarifies

  SAME PAGE – A spokescat for all hungry and ferocious cats in the area on Monday said the claw that has grabbed a fragile...