Prominent liberal activist blames Mohammad Bin Qasim for Rohingya issue

  LAHORE – Prominent Liberal Activist and Socialite-ist, Yajooj Majooj, lashed out at Mohammad bin Qasim for causing the Rohingya issue raging on in Burma. In...

Proof of PTM foreign funding discovered; must for 9:00 bulletin, run without attribution, says...

(Disclaimer: this is a work of fiction. Learn to take a joke; you’ll live longer.) Smoking gun proof has been discovered regarding the foreign funding...

Nation’s youth vow to observe Independence Day by removing silencer from bikes

Our Youth Correspondent Lahore   The nation’s youth on Saturday vowed to observe and celebrate Independence Day by promptly removing silencers from their respective motorcycles. “It is a tradition and...

Chinese couple leaves country after neighbours send them “Chicken Chumian” and “Fried Lullipop”

  In a shocking disregard for neighbourly graces, a Chinese couple left Pakistan on tuesday after their next door neighbours reciprocated their gesture of sending...

Junior accountant rejects notification by CEO on office timings

Ahsen Saleem, junior accountant at Zaahir Engineering Ltd, has rejected the notification issued by the Chief Executive Officer (CEO) Farooq Khattak on the issue of...

Wearing woolen headwear during summer growing cause of revolution: study

ISLAMABAD – Wearing woolen headwear during summer is a growing cause of revolutionary infection, a report issued by a leading scientific institute has confirmed. The...

Local misogynist locates all of his three-and-a-half pairs of socks to successfully defeat Aurat...

(Disclaimer: this is a work of fiction. Learn to take a joke; you’ll live longer.) LAHORE – After copy pasting the same detailed text manifesting...

Zaid Hamid’s plan to stock up on supplies hits hurdle after Slantys (red ones)...

(Disclaimer: this is a work of fiction. Learn to take a joke; you’ll live longer.) Noted military theorist, voted sexiest warrior alive five years straight...

Local mental gymnast simultaneously believes 9/11 did not happen and that Jews did it

  Lahore – Our Conspiracy Correspondent: On first glance, Fayaz Chaudhry, a local Lahore businessman, does not look any different from any other of the shopkeepers...

‘No need to be so hard on guests like Czech model’ says man who...

(Disclaimer: this is a work of fiction. Learn to take a joke; you’ll live longer.) Local man Sarwar Ahmed, who has for the past two...

Area mouse under no threat from claw grabbing its tail, area cat clarifies

  SAME PAGE – A spokescat for all hungry and ferocious cats in the area on Monday said the claw that has grabbed a fragile...

Kohsar Market Islamabad has highest Marxists-per-capita ratio in country: Economic Survey of Pakistan

(Disclaimer: this is a work of fiction. Learn to take a joke; you’ll live longer.) Kohsar Market, located in sector F-6/3, Islamabad has the highest...

3 killed, 4 injured in celebratory hawai firing near ARY office 

(Disclaimer: this is a work of fiction. Learn to take a joke; you’ll live longer.) Three persons were killed and at least four injured, one...

Just btw, Dentists still not real Doctors, nation’s real Doctors reaffirm

(Disclaimer: this is a work of fiction. Learn to take a joke; you’ll live longer.) Real Doctors that have actually done their MBBS from all...

Ugh, I don’t have Murree “Fenyl” Brewery stuff, says cop while denying whiskey bribe...

(Disclaimer: this is a work of fiction. Learn to take a joke; you’ll live longer.) Assistant Sub-inspector Shabbir Butt has strongly denied allegations of his...

Heroic war correspondent Wajahat S Khan bravely dispels myth that tea whitener corporates don’t...

(Disclaimer: this is a work of fiction. Learn to take a joke; you’ll live longer.) Once again risking his life for purposes of journalistic integrity,...

Crisis in news media: massive layoffs at Geo; Mangoo to host Capital Talk

(Disclaimer: this is a work of fiction. Learn to take a joke; you’ll live longer.) The twin-scourge of censorship and financial crisis in the Pakistani...