Our Controversy Correspondent
Lahore
The nation was surprised this Saturday morning, when a blitz of posters asking for noted game show host Tariq Aziz to take over the country.
“Jaane ki baatein hui (all this talk of leaving is old now)”, read the posters, “Ab aa bhi jaao (you should come over now)”
The posters also said that the current democratic dispensation is riddled with corruption and that this is the sort of problem that only the firm hand of Tariq Aziz could solve.
“I swear I have nothing to do with this,” said the veteran TV personality, speaking to reporters while shifting uncomfortably in between his feet. “I would do no such thing. This is someone else that has done this, I can vouch for this.”
“Through you, the media, I would like to speak to the group responsible for these posters: my dear young fans, it is true that the Almighty has blessed me with a lot gifts. A voice with gravitas, a persona that immediately catches attention, an ability to conduct a large audience with both grace and firmness. A veritable man’s man, who is both brains and brawn. And well-read to boot. Yes, I admit all these things. But what you have done is not right.”
“Sure, I know that a case could be made for this humble servant of yours to take over the country, I’ll give you that much,” he continued. “But I have no interests in destabilising the democratic setup, as corrupt and incompetent as it might be.”
When asked to respond to a video clearly showing him to be the one putting up the posters in Lahore, Aziz ended the press conference.
