Situation is under control, Choto Gang assures its tax-payers

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This article is a work of satire. 

Speaking at a public gathering in Rajanpur, Choto Bakrani of the Choto gang assured all present that the situation is under control and that they need not worry.

“We are fighting these elements and you need to rest assured that they will not be able to harm you,” he said. “as long as you are peaceful and pay your taxes, there is nothing these miscreants will be able to do to you.”

“We will not allow for there to be a state-within-a-state. We should have a monopoly on violence and will crack down on these groups that call themselves the punjab police and pakistan army,” he said. “These days, unfortunately, many misguided youth are persuaded to join these groups. We hear reports that they even pay them a monthly salary. Some, however, are indoctrinated.”

“We will try to win them over to our way of life. Don’t lose hope.”

at the end of the gathering, Bakrani asked for all present to strip and give him any and all cash and valuables they had on their person at that point in time.