Internet – Our Cyber Correspondent: Tragedy hit across the nation Saturday when 12 people were killed and over 40 were injured across the country in a stampede to thank Raheel Sharif.
The stampede occurred at various locations, like individuals rushing from work back to their homes so they could log on to Facebook to thank the army chief, while some were rushing to TV DSNG vans to record soundbites to thank him. Others were present at an event where the army chief was present, while others were typing praise of Raheel Sharif on Facebook through their mobile phones while driving.
Perhaps the worst incident occurred when Haroon Ahmed, an Islamabad-based neurosurgeon, was furiously typing praise of Raheel Sharif on his phone while performing surgery, leading to the death of his patient.
“There was considerably lesser load shedding in my sector last night,” said Dr Ahmed, “that is why I felt it was my duty to thank Raheel Sharif. I apologise for the consequences of my actions.”
“I seriously did not mean to crash into that rickshaw,” says Ayesha Tiwana. “But I could not delay getting home, logging on to my computer, and thanking Raheel Sharif for the nice, clean meal that I just had at a local restaurant with my friends. His strict monitoring of the cleanliness of local restaurants is all that rage these days; you might have followed it.”
“With me, it was the lower fuel prices, which means that I can run the generator at my factory for longer and have no downtime,” said Khalid Gul, a local PVC pipes manufacturer. “I just couldn’t stop myself. By that I mean I couldn’t stop the car in time because I was on Twitter, adding to the #thanksraheelsharif trend.”
“Plus, there are way too many Qingqis on the roads these days,” he added. “Go Nawaz Go.”
