Islamabad – Our Special Correspondent: In a countrywide survey conducted over the past six months, 97.39 percent Pakistanis have said that they ‘do not give a damn’ about former President General (retd) Pervez Musharraf’s trial for treason. 79,209,816 people participated in the survey where they were asked the question, ‘Should Musharraf be punished for treason?’
The options for the participants were: a) Yes; b) No; c) Don’t know and d) I do not give a damn. 77,142,440 people out of the 79,209,816 chose option (d). 1.69 percent of the participants believed that Musharraf should not be punished for treason and went for option (b); 0.71 percent chose option (c) claiming that they didn’t know what the best choice was, while 0.21 percent went for option (a) claiming that the former army chief deserved to be punished for treason.
While the government mulls over whether or not the former president’s name should be removed from the Exit Control List (ECL) and the current Army Chief Raheel Sharif seeking urgency in the final verdict, the masses have given their opinion on what needs to be done in the matter. It is pertinent to mention here that 20.18 percent of the people who chose option (d) also exclaimed, “Will the government sort it out already?” or words to that effect.
One of the 77,142,440 participants that opted for the option (d) told our special correspondent that, “it is like Germany trying Hitler for treason now. That’s how relevant this is.” Another woman who had chosen option (d) asked whether the survey question could be rephrased with TTP replacing Musharraf’s name, and a 13-year-old boy advised the government that, “Veena Malik could have provided a better distraction.”
Council of Islamic Ideology condemned for counseling according to Islamic ideology
Our APLA Correspondent: All Pakistan Liberals Association (APLA) Saturday strongly condemned the Council of Islamic Ideology (CII) for their constant counseling according the Islamic ideology, Khabaristan Today has learnt. In the association’s daily meeting on Twitter, it collectively castigated CII Chairman Maulana Muhammad Khan Sheerani and scorned at his Islamic interpretations of “every single thing”. All members of the association dubbed Saturday’s meeting “amazingly successful”, since it resulted in a staggering 1,806 retweets and 2,190 favourites. However, social media sources reveal that most of these retweets were owing to association members sharing each other’s tweets.
It is pertinent to mention here that CII has come under serious criticism following Sheerani’s announcement that ban on child marriages was haraam and the proclamation that there was no compulsion on husbands to seek their wife’s permission before marrying again. APLA strongly believes that CII should manifest more liberal and secular ideals, and not interpret everything according to the Islamic ideology.
An APLA member, not important enough to be named, told Khabaristan Today, “The first step towards Pakistan’s secularisation is to make the Council of Islamic Ideology secular. CII needs to stop being so darn religious.”
CII Chairman Sheerani, meanwhile, laughed off the Twitter protests and left a message for APLA through Khabaristan Today, “Well, there is a reason why it is called CII, the Council of Islamic Ideology. If they want secularism, maybe they need to create a CSI.”
‘Five more torched temples and liberal jiyalas might finally criticise PPP’
Our Jiyala Correspondent: Over the past month five Hindu temples have been torched or set on fire in the province of Sindh, where the Pakistan People’s Party (PPP) rules the roost. A group of political scientists met on Friday to determine how long it would take before the ‘liberal jiyalas’ of Pakistan finally condemned “their darling PPP”. After factoring in the law of political biasness, the law of selective condemnation and the law of probability, the general consensus among the political scientists was that after another five temples are torched or set on fire the jiyalas might finally utter whispers of condemnations.
“Of course had it been Punjab, with the PML-N government there and everything, the jiyalas would have yelled bloody murder into the proverbial night. Plus mocking PTI is the new cool thing as well. Anything in Peshawar would also have lifted the roof off condemnations,” the senior most political scientist told Khabaristan Today.
“Obviously PML-N and PTI manifest conservatism of the rather obvious kind as well, but how does five Hindu temples being torched or burnt not get any attention from our liberal and secular friends?” he added.
While PPP continues its legacy of more talk less action, the general consensus among the political scientists was that the jiyalas would continue to give their favourite political party totally unabashed leeway in the near future, as dutifully as they have been doing so for ages.
Well, you didn’t see that coming, Obama tells Saudi King
Riyadh – Al-Saudi Correspondent: US President Barack Obama is reported to have said to Saudi King Abdullah that he did not see that coming, unnamed US officials told Khabaristan Today. This incident took place last week when Obama held talks with the Saudi king to ease the tensions over Tehran’s nuclear programme and the conflict in Syria. Even so, it is still not sure what the American president was referring to when he uttered the following words in Riyadh, “Well, you didn’t see that coming.”
Some diplomacy experts believe that there is a fair chance that Obama was referring to “virtually allowing Iran to develop nuclear arsenal”, while others are of the opinion the president was pointing out American reluctance as far as supporting the Syrian opposition is concerned. Energy expert however are adamant that it is the president’s manoeuvre of augmenting shale gas in the American energy mix to decrease dependence on Riyadh’s oil that the Saudi king “did not see coming”.
President Barack Obama speaking exclusively to Khabaristan Today said that the phrase’s meaning had got everything to do with mutual ties. The American president added that the sole purpose of his visit was to ensure smooth ties.
“Look how well ironed my grey tie is. I was surprised to see that Abdullah wears his under his vest,” Obama concluded.
The general public is generally Beghairat and Manhoos. They are caught up in their personal problems, including getting drinking water, canal water, two times meals, security, high handedness of police, bhatta group and daily road side killing. What does it matter, if Musharraf is tried or let off. Only the fraud degree loafers and wadera doing "Democracy Business, that is getteing into power through fraudulant sale/ purchase of votes and constituencies would be deadly against Musharraf and Army as a whole.
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