Bollywood dialogues you must avoid this Valentine’s Day

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Bollywood has turned us into romantic schmucks. We walk around thinking ‘happily ever after toh banta hai yaar’. If it worked out for the Rahuls, Anjalis and Prems, then why not for the rest of us huh?! And so we turn to films for inspiration – but not every line does the trick. We bring you the worst of the lot!

1- Tumhari jaisi ladki ke saath, mere jaise ladke ka hona … bahut zaroori hai (Dilwale Dulhaniya Le Jayenge, 1995)

Sure, so that I could show my friend not to date such guys.

2- Aag joh dil mein lagi hai, usse duniya mein laga doonga main … joh teri doli uthi, zamaane ko jalaa doonga main (Diljale, 1996)

Yes, because all a girl really wants is a potential arsonist to love and cherish her till the very end of time.

3- Main tumhe bhool jaoon yeh ho nahi sakta … aur tum mujhe bhool jao yeh main hone nahi doonga (Dhadkan, 2000) and Kya koi kisi se itna pyar kar sakta hai ki uski jaan lele? (Dhoom: 2, 2006)

Please, someone call the police.

4- I love you KKKKKK ……………. Kiran (Darr, 1993)

Even if her name is not Kiran, she’ll run in the opposite direction. This line screams crazy. So please don’t try this at home. With any name.

5- Aati kya Khandala? (Ghulam, 1998)

It doesn’t matter if it’s Khandala or the Mall of Lahore. NO NO NO! JUST NO!

6- Aaj kal ka ishq janmo ka rog nahi hai… waqti nasha hai. Shaam ko hota hai, subah utar jaata hai (Betaaj Badshah, 1994)

Don’t listen to this grumpy uncle. Love is khoobsoorat. Bad uncle…. ruining love like this.

7- Agar tum mujhe yun hi dekhti rahi… toh tumhe mujhse pyaar ho jayega (Hum Dil De Chuke Sanam, 1999)

Maybe if you looked like Salman. Now imagine Ajay Devgn saying exactly the same thing. Yeah, close your eyes and fall in love with his mind instead.

8- Maine kabhi tumhare jism se nahin… tumhari aatma se pyar kiya hai (Naseeb, 1997)

Govinda, considering how your jism looks in yellow pants and dhinchak shirt, aatma works for us too.

9- Dosti ka ek oosul hai madam… no sorry, no thank you (Maine Pyaar Kiya, 1989)

Step 1 – Facepalm. Step 2 – “Oh sorry bhaayi, will remember it next time. Thank you.”

10- Rikshay walay bhayi sahib, paisay na lena madam say… bhaabhi hai tmhari (Raanjhanaa 2013)

Loser, stop showing off, if you had a car, you would have been sitting in my drawing with my parents by now.