Vroom Vroom! Man convicted of sex with Land Rover

A man with the self-proclaimed nickname “Hotcock” is in hot water after allegedly getting naked and attempting sex with a Land Rover. A court in Wales, UK recently convicted Daniel Cooper, 24, of indecent exposure. He was banned from going outside between 7 p.m. and 7 a.m. on Fridays, Saturdays and Sundays for the next three months. The order stems from an August 18 incident where Cooper — who is known by the nickname “Hotcock” — was caught on surveillance video getting naked and then grinding against a blue 4×4 Land Rover Discovery, the New York Daily News reported. Cooper told the court he was so drunk at the time that he did not remember his auto-erotic encounter until he saw the video. The Land Rover was not available for comment, but it wasn’t the only inanimate object that caught Cooper’s eye during that evening, according to the Mirror. Earlier in the evening, witnesses saw him bumping and grinding with the counter on a kebab shop and simulating sex on the floor with his pants around his ankles. He was also seen walking down the street with his pants pulled down. Cooper, a father of three, also urinated in the streets. When he was arrested, he admitted to officers that he rarely drank, according to the Telegraph. Besides the 3-month nighttime ban, Cooper was ordered to pay a $134 fine. His attorney, Gary Harvey, told the court that his client was mortified by his actions and that his behavior toward cars and kebab counters was out of character. “He is a responsible family man who looks after the children while his wife went out to work” he said, the International Business Times reported. That may be, but both the Mirror and Telegraph pointed out that Cooper changed the name on his Facebook page to Daniel Hotcock Cooper only after he was arrested for his 4X4-play. Besides the sentencing and fine, Cooper can expect to be razzed about his drunken behavior for the rest of his life. “Daniel will never live this down,” an unidentified pal said. “He is not a pretty sight when naked. We all felt sorry for the Land Rover and hope it wasn’t offended.”