Suggestions for the LBA

A persecution of minorities

More than some fourteen hundred years ago, the powerful Arab tribe Quraish affixed a document on to the door of the Ka’aba proclaiming a boycott of the clan Banu Hashim. This meant that the rest of the tribe was disallowed from intermarrying, speaking, or trading with members of the Banu Hashim.

The outcasts sought refuge in an area called Shia’b Abu Taalib where for the next two or three years they suffered extreme privation. Deprived of the means of supporting themselves (they were prevented from trading even with other tribes) many members of the clan died of hunger and the rest were reduced to eating grass and leaves.

The boycott ended when the organisers of the boycott realised the foolishness of their measures. The crime for which this unfortunate clan was persecuted was simply a difference of beliefs (of certain of their number) from the majority of the tribe.

We all know about this incident of history but it remains as ink on the pages of textbooks. ‘Those who cannot learn from history are doomed to repeat it.’ How many have applied it to their lives becomes obvious with the Lahore Bar Association’s (LBA) latest demands with regards to Shezan.

[I can foresee some furious reactions from readers because I have compared the ‘wrong sides’ to each other. They will have missed the point: this is about illustrating persecution and the treatment of minorities. I have deliberately not named any of the figures in the above incident because I mean this to be a sociological discussion, not an incitement to religious frenzy.]

Shezan’s excellent products are part of our lives, their juices a feature of many tables. It does not matter who and what the owners of Shezan are. So long as they maintain their standard within the law, this country is grateful to them for a worthy product. For clarification refer to the Constitution of Pakistan.

And really, Mr Shezan spokesperson, you stoop to the level of the LBA by assuring us that the Chief Executive and Financial Officers of Shezan International ‘are Muslim.’ Who is to judge what anyone is? And does whatever a person is make them any less a citizen of Pakistan? Any less entitled to indulge in lawful commerce?

It is obvious that the legal training of certain LBA lawyers failed to educate them (I could stop right here, but…) about the Constitution of Pakistan which declares any laws, customs or usage having the force of law, which are inconsistent with or in derogation of fundamental rights as void. It also gives every citizen the right to fair trial for the determination of his civil rights and further grants every citizen the freedom of trade, commerce or industry, and freedom of religion.

Lawyers are supposed to uphold the law, yet these (one hopes the minority), have contravened all of the above. How kind of the LBA to reassure us that the resolution against Shezan products has not yet been passed.

Darlings, other than the moonshine served at your Bar, are you aware that almost twenty percent of Pakistan’s tea, and therefore the tea you drink in your hallowed canteens at the courts, is illicitly smuggled into the country, while the rest is imported from Kenya, Sri Lanka, Bangladesh, and ye olde kafir India.

Add to this the dreadful fact of Pakistan being one of the four largest importers of tea in company with its arch nemesis the United States of America, that friend of evil Israel. Will tea also be banned in all Lahore court canteens? And then of course there are the cigarettes. Cigarettes were introduced by a gentleman called General (gasp) Israel Putnam to the United States of America from where thanks to the efforts of Marlboro Man, they reached Pakistan.

To add further fuel to the fire, the matches used to light cigarettes were once called ‘Lucifers’ which as we all know is Satan’s middle name. Surely the LBA should also proceed to cleanse its halls of the presence of all members who smoke this, the devil’s own weed.

And finally, there remains the small but niggling matter of Sir Zafrullah Khan, eminent jurist, former President of the Muslim League, Pakistan’s first foreign minister, notable member of the Ahmadiyya community, and a man who played a well recognised role in the establishment of Pakistan. I table the suggestion that the LBA removes itself from the precincts of this contaminated country which owes its existence in part to a man whose descendants are also responsible for the juices so disdained by some lawyers.

All those in favour of this motion raise your hand and say ‘Aye!’ Really, I meant just one hand. Such an excess of zeal is quite uncalled for.