“Ufff…nazar utaar sakta houn aapki?,” says elephant whose game relies exclusively on observation of Pakistani boys’ pickup lines | Pakistan Today

“Ufff…nazar utaar sakta houn aapki?,” says elephant whose game relies exclusively on observation of Pakistani boys’ pickup lines

The much anticipated fertility of Pakistani expat elephant Kaavan is suffering from some serious setbacks as it was revealed that his ‘game’, so to speak, is based completely off his observations of Pakistani boys’ pickup lines.

“Yes, the situation is far more dire than we had expected,” said Dr Prak Sokhon, a Zoologist specialising in elephant mating rituals. “Our boy really needs to pick up his game. Yes, his being cute is the general consensus amongst the females here, but that impression goes downhill immediately when he starts communicating.”

The list of pick-up lines that Kaavan has tried thus far at his new home are: “Ufff…nazar utaar sakta houn aapki?”, “Bismillah, mayn chhorr aaun aapko college?”, “Ah, aap ka deedar toh wayse hee ho gaya…..mayn Kuch aur maang leta khuda se..”, “”jee sunain, agar aap mind na karain toh mai aap sai kuch bol sakta hoon?”, “uff thakk jaaengi aap, mujhe pakrra dein bag,”, “aik Sprite iss garmi mein?”, “aik chaai iss sardi mein?”, “aik hoor aur woh bhi iss zoo mein?”

The Dependent

The above piece is a work of satire and does not present itself as the truth.



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