Bored ISI staffer hearing same cricket story for 12th time | Pakistan Today

Bored ISI staffer hearing same cricket story for 12th time

RAWALPINDI: Having already been well versed in why it’s sacrilegious to call bit-part players ‘all-rounders’ bored Inter-Services Intelligence (ISI) staffer has now fully learnt, word for word, why it was more important to keep wickets in hand than score runs in the middle overs of the first innings in the 1992 World Cup final, The Dependent has stealthily learnt.

Infiltrating sources confirm that Sunday night’s repetition of the wickets-in-hand World Cup final narration makes it the 12th instance that the ISI staffer has heard the story since being posted in the new role on November 8.

According to the monitoring desk monitoring the monitors, this makes the wickets-in-hand story the 14th related to the World Cup final, the 37th related to cricket, and 94th overall that has crossed double digits in the frequency of narration over the past three weeks.

“I knew Inzamam and Wasim were still to come. The boys were concerned that we were going too slow. I kept telling them, ‘aap ne ghabrana nahi hai’” said the subject, now inadvertently merging a repeated-to-death rambling from 2020 with the 1992 story, clearly failing to factor in that he could not have been at the pitch and in the dressing room at the same time.

Well informed sources confirm that the newly posted ISI staffer is also fully versed in how divorces are behind western society’s downfall, how Turks are Pakistan’s ancestors and how one’s 22-year struggle is recognised and backed.

At press time, the staffer couldn’t help but wonder if maybe his superiors should also provide their subordinate some additional support for his ongoing 22-day struggle.

The Dependent

The above piece is a work of satire and does not present itself as the truth.