LAHORE: After deciding to leave Pakistan with his family owing to what he described as ‘disappointing performance of the Pakistan Tehreek-e-Inaf (PTI) government’, senior hypercritic Hassan Nisar has created a shortlist of countries that he would be looking to locate to, The Dependent has been informed.
Talking exclusively to The Dependent, Nisar said that he has shortlisted three countries that fulfill all the requirements that he needs to live a happy and satisfied life.
“They are easily mockable, and have contemptible histories. Of course, this is true for almost any country in the world, but these three countries fit my particular brand of repetitive and rehashed mockery, which of course I need for my sustenance and relevance,” said Nisar.
Without revealing the names of those countries, Hassan Nisar confessed that he is a ‘creature of habit’, and said that after being disappointed by the PTI government, as rulers and human beings, he is now spending much of his time among the wildlife.
“Jungles, zoos, livestock farms, much of my productive time is spent here. I keep telling off animals, calling them ‘insaan ke bachay’. However, it’s not as fulfilling for me, and I can tell by their reaction that it is especially offensive to the animals,” he said.
Nisar maintains that while he is a strong critic, he is the harshest on himself. Last year, while expressing regret over his own dismal performance, Hassan Nisar had told off his own 2014-2018 self, calling himself besharam, khachar and bhair-bakri.