[The following piece is a work of satire. Learn to take a joke; you’ll live a little.]
The country is experiencing a massive internet outage in the aftermath of former SAPM Tania Aidrus pulling the plug on the nation’s internet after collecting her things from her office in Islamabad.
“She came here to the office to collect her stuff and to clear out her desk,” said Sumair Hassan, Section Officer deputed to the Digital Pakistan Initiative. “I personally declined to follow the directive from PM Secretariat to be rude to her and was cordial.”
“While she was walking out, she appears to have pulled out the plug of the nation’s internet,” he said. “I was streaming Ertugrul at the time – things are chill at this digital whatever thing, we have a lot of free time and no job description – and the streaming stopped.”
“I rushed into the office and saw that the plug was out. I immediately put the plug back in but it takes a very long time for all of it to start again,” he said. “I don’t know when it will all come back.”