White Lies | Pakistan Today

White Lies

“I refuse to join a club that would have me as a member.”

– Groucho Marx

The Lahore Gymkhana doesn’t seem to be too well behaved a club these days. Elections to the governing body are taking place and some of the members are taking it way too seriously. The sides seem to have adopted American campaigning techniques, some of which have only barely been introduced in the elections to the national and provincial assemblies in Pakistan, like pre-recorded phone messages and short ad films.

It’s also led to quite the canvassing, with the elite equivalent of ‘biryani ki platein.’ Lavish dinners, not all of them dry. The sort that makes the electoral college wish these elections took place every year, not every three years.

A little further away in Lahore, at the far more exclusive, and far less ostentatious, Punjab Club, elections are an extremely low key affair. This is a gentlemens’ club, good sirs, we don’t have that sort of thing here. Apparently, simple canvassing is also not allowed there.


Major General Babur Iftikhar hasn’t even taken over yet as the military’s spindoctor-in-chief and a slew of fake accounts have been created in his name. Presumably by the same smart alec online trolls that were the bane of his predecessor. The infantryman will realise what his artilleryman predecessor learnt: that they certainly didn’t prepare you for this sort of stuff at Kakul.