CITY NOTES: Indian perfidy shown in Tezgam inferno

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India is eviler than we think. I mean, it is going to go ahead with the division of the state of Jammu and Kashmir into the union territories of Kashmir and Ladakh. And it is doing this despite Prime Minister Imran Khan’s speech at the United Nations General Assembly (UNGA). And look at India’s barefacedness, it is doing so even though Imran not only made the speech, but wore a black armband.

Indian duplicity is such that it responded by getting Bangladesh cricket captain, that magnificent all rounder Sahakibul Hassan banned for two years after admitting being approached by match-fixers in the tri-series with Zimbabwe and Sri Lanka, as well as in the Indian Premier League (IPL), and not reporting the contacts. All an Indian conspiracy to defame cricketers. One opinion that Bangladesh cricket is rife with corruption. But it is the Bengalaru Blaster’s bowling coach and two batsmen who have been caught, not any Bangladeshi.

And the Bombay Bookies have been smoothly rebranded as the Mumbai Matchfixers, not the Mymensingh Matchfixers, or the Chittagong Cheaters. This is all meant to belittle Imran’s World Cup win. How much had Australia to be paid to throw the match? One would probably have to ask the Mianwali Matchfixers.

Among those who would believe that the World Cup was fixed would be Maulana Fazlur Rehman. He too claims that Imran stole, not a World Cup, but the 2018 election. In fact, he has called for Imran to resign as PM. Not that he is willing to do so. After all, the job carries with it the right to harangue the nation on live TV whenever you want. Those who have liked Imran coming on TV should prepare to have Maulana Fazlur Rehman holding forth.

Another large Muslim country caught up in a match-fixing scandal is Indonesia. And no, it is not a cricketing country. But the match-fixing is in soccer. The problem was so serious that a special police unit was set up, and after making a number of arrests in the latest scandal, they released all those arrested after interrogation. That would mean they beat all the accused to within an inch of their lives, until they agreed on a suitable sum for the cops.

India has decided to tackle corruption in cricket by making ex-captain Sourav Ganguly the head of the BCCI. I am not sure this was the best time for India to put forward its only recent Bengali national skipper to tackle corruption. And I wonder if Ganguly plans to parlay this stint into the prime ministership of India. There has never been a Bengali PM yet, though one Bengali (Pranab Mukherjee) has made it to the presidency.

I am a little worried that no one has hinted that the fire in the Tezgam which led to 71 deaths was an Indian conspiracy. After all, Indians blamed Pakistan for the Godhra train fire, in which 59 pilgrims died in 2002, and which led to the Gujerat communal riots. Those pilgrims were coming back from Ayodhya, where they had been to the Babri Masjid site, where they had tried to make a Ramjanambhoomi.

Funnily enough, these deaths also were among pilgrims. However, they were not returning from their pilgrimage, but were members of the Tablighi Jamaat on their way to the Ijtima at Raiwind. Whether Hindu or Muslim, it seems pilgrims have one thing in common, an overwhelming desire for cooked food. The Godhra fire (on the Sabramati Express) was caused by the bursting of a stove. The same for the Tezgam fire. No one so far has disclosed what the Tablighi Jamaat members were trying to cook. As a matter of fact, the Tablighi Jamaat seems to be more concerned about the possibility of an electrical short circuit. So we have probably got a Tablighi Jamaat vs Railways situation here, with neither side accepting blame for the disaster.

A thought: you have got the Tablighi Jamaat doing some flying. There is a one-year our which involves flying to the US. Do Jamaats cook on the flights, or do they subsist on airline food?

The 66 Pakistanis taken off a refrigerator truck in France were not a Jamaat, just trying to take advantage of the pre-Brexit situation, I suppose. Well, at least they were not dead, like the 39 people in a lorry caught in the Promised Land, not of Canaan, but of Grays, Essex. They were Vietnamese. So it seems they’ve heard of Brexit in Vietnam too. Well, Britain is going to have an election first, and then leave. Of course, if the Remainers are elected, the UK might inflict itself back on the EU. One of the worst things about the UK is Donald Trump. Sorry, Boris Johnson. And Johnson is not even rich.

Well, perhaps Johnson has not asked any foreign leader to help him do down Jeremy Corbyn. Well, maybe he should get in touch with Imran, and get him to lend him the National Accountability Bureau (NAB). May NAB would refuse. Corbyn’s platelet count is so normal that he has not had it checked. NAB is just not interested unless there is a platelet count to make things interesting.