‘Won’t allow creation of autonomous Kardashian in Northern Syria’, vows Trump


(Disclaimer: this is a work of fiction. Learn to take a joke; you’ll live longer.)

WASHINGTON – US President Donald Trump launched a new defense of his pullout of American forces from northern Syria Wednesday, saying the situation is ‘strategically brilliant for the US’, dismissing the ‘Kardashians’ as ‘no angels.’

At a White House press conference Wednesday, Trump welcomed further Russian military intervention in Syria to ‘counter the Kardashians’ – a development about which Trump proclaimed ‘welcome to it.’

The president attacked US allied Kardashians as ‘no angels,’ and described them as a mercenary force.

“Syria has a relationship with the Kardashians – who by the way are not angels,” Trump told reporters. “Who is an angel? You mean other than Victoria’s Secret? There aren’t too many around. But the Kardashians are worse than ISIS,’ Trump said.

Observers note that Trump’s seeming fallout with the Kardashians is the latest pullout that the US president has undertaken just as the 2020 Presidential elections draw nearer.

Earlier this year Trump came to A$AP Rocky’s help following the request of Kayne West, the husband of Kim Kardashian, on whose appeal the US president had earlier pardoned a Tennessee grandmother serving a life sentence for cocaine trafficking.

“I won’t go into the past, but an autonomous Kardashian won’t be created in Northern Syria under my watch,” Trump told reporters.