Rs10/kg rise in lemon price increases India’s defence expenditure by Rs0.5 trillion

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NEW DELHI – A one-sixth increase in the per kilogram price of lemons results in a one-sixth increase in India’s defence expenditure, revealed The Dependent’s undercover team of investigative reporters from across the border on Thursday.

Monitoring trends across nationwide fruit and vegetable markets in India, the investigative team saw that in affect on average Indian rupees 10 per kg increase in lemon prices increased India’s defence budget by Indian rupees 0.5 trillion.

“Lemons were being sold for INR 60 per kg last week, which have increased to INR 70 per kg today. As a result India’s defence expenses that were around INR 3 trillion for the ongoing fiscal year have jumped to a projected INR 3.5 trillion,” The Dependent’s special correspondent in New Delhi revealed.

We can further confirm that this Rs10 per kg hike in lemon prices was artificially created by The Dependent’s team, the details of which cannot be shared here, given the fact that lemons have now become a matter of national and regional security.

The editorial board of this publication urges the state to use this opportunity, and utilise our services, to militarily defeat India by engaging in citrus warfare.