(Disclaimer: this is a work of fiction. Learn to take a joke; you’ll live longer.)
The Duke and Duchess of Cambridge were in for a surprise late on Monday night during their stay at the Islamabad National University, nee Prime Minister House, when they a strange, bald, bearded man – who identifies himself as ‘Waj bro’ – lounging in the hot tub of the PM house bathroom.
“Who are you and what are you doing here” Prince William asked the sleeping man, who has been squatting in the Prime Minister house ever since he was allowed entry to do a show about the house and Prime Minister Imran Khan’s austerity measures.
The Prince, who had simply nipped down to the bathroom after a long flight and wanted to freshen up and take a leak, was unfortunately met by the passed out Waj bro, who began to regain his conciousness.
“My name is Waj Bro – and this is austerity ka mahaz” he said, standing up in the empty bathtub, his arms folded across his chest, bald head gleaming, shades on at night completely naked.
According to details, Waj bro had been arrested by the Islamabad police after people complained of a naked man prowling the Prime Minister house and lounging himself on the furniture and all over the place. However, Waj bro soon managed to escape the clutches of the police and has since been terrorising the Prime Minister House/University since.
Read more: Police finally arrest ‘desperate intruder’ inside PM House
“I’m not a young man any more, and when you reach my age, the key to a healthy life is staying hydrated. Naturally that means I have to use the facilities every now and then” Prince William explained to The Dependent over the phone. “It is a small price to pay really, but what really set me off was that he refused to leave.”
According to details, the Prince had cried for help, causing his wife to rush in and be equally shocked. The royal couple’s security team also refused to approach the naked Waj bro.
“For King and country, yes, I would die. But this … they’re asking too much of me” one serviceman was reported to have said when asked to drag Waj bro out.
The situation was made all the worse for the royal couple because no matter which bathroom they tried going to, they always ended up finding Waj bro in it.
“I don’t know what kind of voodoo stuff this was, but I decided to hold it until we go to the Presidential residence” the Prince declared.