Diplomatic crisis after speech on Islamic welfare state lands PM in Xinjiang Muslim re-education camp


(Disclaimer: this is a work of fiction. Learn to take a joke; you’ll live longer.)

A severe diplomatic crisis has ensued between Pakistan and China after the latter’s incarceration of visiting Pakistan Prime Minister Imran Khan in a Muslim re-education internment centre in the Xinjiang province.

The Prime Minister was speaking at an event in Beijing, where he brought up his desire to set up an Islamic welfare state.

“The artificial intelligence at the back end of the sensors at the hall operate on a very simple basis,” said Masood Khalid, Pakistan’s envoy to China. “The AI simply picked up the keywords and tipped off the secret police, who were at the venue in a jiffy. It’s one big understanding and I hope it is cleared up quickly.”

“We respect the Pakistani government’s concerns and hope they respect ours. The Pakistani authorities’ case is that our AI led to a faulty conclusion, which cannot be the case,” read an official state response. “The People’s Republic cannot make such mistakes.”

Chinese authorities, however, insisted that there was no cause for concern as it was clearly a situation that can be rectified.

“We are willing to release CN-48693 (Imran Khan) after his re-education and vocational training is complete,” read the official statement. “If he clears the test that will follow the re-education, he will most certainly be released.”

STOP PRESS – LATE DEVELOPMENT: After the intervention of several world powers and a C (Satisfactory) Grade in his exam, Prime Minister Imran Khan was finally released from the internment centre. Upon being asked a question by a reporter about the internment camps, he said, “I am afraid I don’t know much about this problem.”