New Islamic TV channel will be like BBC if BBC were like ARY: PM

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(Disclaimer: this is a work of fiction. Learn to take a joke; you’ll live longer.)
The proposed upcoming Islamic channel, which will be a joint venture of Pakistan, Turkey and Malaysia, is going to be just like the BBC, Prime Minister Imran Khan said on Monday.
“Think of the upcoming channel as the BBC,” said the PM, while speaking to reporters at the PM Secretariat. “Except if the BBC were like ARY Digital,” he clarified.
“It would cover Kashmir, like BBC does, but it won’t cover, say the situation with the Uighurs, like ARY,” he said. “It will cover the ‘cow lynchings’ of Muslims in India, like the BBC does but will rather avoid Balochistan, the Pashtun belt and the situation of the religious minorities in Pakistan.”
He also pointed out that the independence of the new channel will be key.
“Also, the point would be for the channel to be completely independent from the influence of journalists’ bodies and be run squarely by the decrees of the three governments,” he said.
When asked what the name of the new channel will be, the PM replied, “Well, since the channel is going to be a joint project by the governments of Pakistan, Turkey and Malaysia, I think an appropriate name will be PTM…..no, wait, that didn’t sound right…don’t run that statement in your reports.”
The BBC report contained the statement above; the ARY report didn’t.