Luxurious MBS jet offers complimentary blood absorbent tissues to wipe old bloodstains

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(Disclaimer: this is a work of fiction. Learn to take a joke; you’ll live longer.)

ABOARD MBS’S PRIVATE JET – Vast, majestic and state-of-the-art, the private jet of the Saudi Crown Prince Mohamed bin Salman is filled with luxuries that just cannot be found outside this space, which is a physical dimension of its own – and infinitely deluxe at that!

This scribe, The Dependent’s Correspondent for Diplomacy, Politics, Economy, Technology, Food, Art, Sports and Relationships was aboard the jet as part of Prime Minister Khan’s entourage travelling to the United States to attend the 74th session of the United Nations General Assembly.

What this scribe – whose expenses were indeed covered by MBS and not the austerity driven premier – witnessed was an experience where passengers aboard the jet could actually be, swiftly, and sometimes painlessly, moved to just another world – one that they hadn’t ever experienced.

What makes witnessing this even more comfortable is the many complementary things that the private jet offers the passengers.

Among these is a blood absorbent tissue that wipes out both fresh and old bloodstains. The headphones are so next level that you remain completely oblivious to the screams coming from other cabins.

Also, the entertainment packages on offer for you to view on the massive flat screen reveal more about MBS than you might know, after which you became truly aware of the fact that the control of your recliner seats isn’t in your own cabin.

But the direct aisle access allows you all the space you’re allowed to have, with the cabin crew bestowing more generosity on you than your physical abilities can handle.

At press time, this scribe was saigbfapsgu7sartfbsapuuas7aas;aks,nrfasrsa.