(Disclaimer: this is a work of fiction. Learn to take a joke; you’ll live longer.)
The concept of an international brotherhood of Muslim nations took another beating on Wednesday when Prime Minister Narendra Modi received the Nishan-e-Pakistan, the Republic’s highest civil award, in a ceremony held at the Aiwan-e-Sadr in Islamabad.
The conferral of the award took place hot on the heels of the United Arab Emirates also giving him its top honour.
“It is shameful that so-called Muslim nations are doing this at a time when the Indian PM has basically suspended the rights of the citizens of that occupied territory,” said Tayyab Butt, a Lahore-based political columnist specialising in foreign policy. “UAE and now Pakistan itself. This is shameful.”
The government, however, stood by its decision. “International relations are based on national interests, specially commercial interests,” said foreign minister Shah Mahmood Qureshi. “Pakistan needs to develop good relations with India so that it could build on the trade relations with the country.”
“And, it should also convince India to support Pakistan against its long-term regional rival India. To that end, as a quid pro quo, Pakistan should also support Indian against its traditional rival Pakistan,” said Qureshi as mental health paramedics wheeled him out of his office.