(Disclaimer: this is a work of fiction. Learn to take a joke; you’ll live longer.)
The Government of Khyber Pakhtunkhwa has shut down the bustling Bus Rapid Transit route in the capital in order to lodge a protest against the Indian scrapping of Article 370 in Occupied Kashmir.
“Tough times call for tough measures,” said Chief Minister Mahmood Khan. “We have to send the Indians a strong message.”
“Through this act, we will be shutting down the Peshawar BRT, which is the jewel in the PTI crown, the feather in the PTI cap, but is that too big a price to pay for preventing the possible use by an Indian national for trade purposes? No, a thousand times no. A resounding no.”
“Millions of people would have used this impeccably designed and managed means of public transport,” he said. “The people will understand this. They will know that the only reason they won’t be able to use the Peshawar BRT is our solidarity with the people of Kashmir and nothing else.”