Ben Stokes to finalise Brexit after Ashes


(Disclaimer: this is a work of fiction. Learn to take a joke; you’ll live longer.)

LEEDS – Star England all-rounder Ben Stokes will be given charge of finalising the Brexit deal after the conclusion of the ongoing Ashes series on September 16, said a statement issued by the Prime Minister’s Office in UK.

Stokes, who is currently occupied with the five-match Test series against Australia, will be responsible for securing Britain’s exit from the European Union, in accordance with the referendum that was held on June 23, 2016.

Brexit, which was originally scheduled for March 29, 2019, is bound by a withdrawal agreement and a non-binding political declaration on the nature of the future relationship between the UK and EU, with Stokes expected to use his all-round skills in finalising both the agreement and the nature of the deal.

Even so, while talking to The Dependent, Stokes clarified that even though he will be taking on Brexit, he will only do what is ‘best for Britain’.

“There’s the option of undoing it all as well. That looks impossible, but so did England winning the World Cup final or the Headingley Test at one point. Brexit is going to go down to the wire as well,” he said.

In an emergency session of the House of Commons and House of Lords, the British Parliament gave preapproval to ‘whatever Ben Stokes wants to do’ to the United Kingdom’s European Union (Withdrawal) Act 2018.

However, British Prime Minister Boris Johnson said he knows that Stokes will ‘do the right thing’.

“Even though he’s an immigrant, I know he’ll do the right thing,” Johnson told The Dependent. “In any case, Britain can easily cope with no-deal no-Brexit.”