Democrats set to pass bills in US Senate despite minority using ‘Pakistan Senate formula’


(Disclaimer: this is a work of fiction. Learn to take a joke; you’ll live longer.)

WASHINGTON – Despite a 45-53 minority, the senators affiliated with the Democratic Party in the US, known commonly as the Democratic Caucus of the United States Senate, have decided to use their status as the minority in the upper chamber of the Congress using what they’re calling the ‘Pakistan Senate formula’.

Sources have informed The Dependent that the US Senate minority leader Charles Schumer has been having discussions with his close aides over the past week about getting advisers from Pakistan.

The move comes following the recent miracle in the Pakistan Senate where the combined opposition parties failed to bring a no-confidence motion against the speaker despite being in numerical majority.

Sources close to Schumer, on condition of anonymity, revealed to this scribe that he was intrigued by the results and wanted to get advice from the mastermind behind this manoeuvre.

Sources further confirm that Schumer hopes to pass ‘some remarkable bills’ in the US Senate despite the Democrats’ numerical disadvantage using the ‘Pakistan formula’.

Meanwhile, Stephen Miller, President Donald Trump’s speechwriter, reportedly told a White House aide that Pakistan Senate Elections had a ‘weird result’ because ‘Muslims can’t do math’.

The President’s strategy to counter any miracles in the US Senate rely solely on the Democrats’ ‘ability to do math’, sources confirm.